Every motherhood journey is unique, but one truth remains universal: there will be funny moments along the way.
Even what’s not necessarily amusing in real time, like a four-alarm diaper disaster or toddler meltdown at the library, is fodder for a chuckle down the road.
Regardless of age or stage, laughter is one of the best ways to thrive through the tears (theirs and yours), sleepless nights and all the rest of the "Are you kidding me?" moments.
For an express ticket to get your laugh on, we’ve assembled a list of mom jokes to lighten hearts and moods everywhere. And while most people can't resist a solid dad joke, these spot-on puns serve up just the right amount of cheese and groan to give dads everywhere a serious run for their money.
Perfect for kids, adults and the rest of the gang, you'll have them in stitches with these riddles and bad-but-good jokes that cover teens, tots, new moms and just about everything else in between.
So, get ready to shake your head with a smirk and roll your eyes, because these clever one-liners are about to deliver the motherload of laughs and, we promise, that's no joke.
Funny Mom Jokes
- What’s another name for a petite mom? Mini-mum.
- What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves? I'm not a-moosed right now.
- What did the mother alpaca say to her hungry baby on their way to grab a bite? Don’t worry, dear, alpaca snack.
- What did the mom say to her teenager when she asked her to keep a secret? Mum’s the word.
- What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
- How did the digital clock show off to its mother? Look, Ma, no hands!
- What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
- How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
- What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
- Why was the cookie sad? Because its mommy was a wafer too long.
- When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
- What stresses a baby strawberry out? When its mom is in a jam.
- What do mother spiders complain about the most? How much time their kids spend on the web.
- What’s the best way to describe a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
- I just stitched a honey bee to my cardigan. Now it’s my Cardi Bee.
- What did the mom dog say after a long day with the kids? Boy, that was ruff.
- How do you put a baby spaceship to sleep? You rocket.
- What kind of shoes do mamma bananas wear? Slippers.
Best Mom Jokes
- How do you know when something is officially lost? Your mom can't find it.
- Mothers of teenagers understand why some animals eat their young.
- Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.
- Motherhood: Where a solo trip to the bathroom no longer exists.
- What's the fastest way for a mom to get her kids' attention? Sit down and look relaxed.
- Silence is golden. Until you have children. Then it’s highly suspicious.
- Did you hear about the new Olympic sport? Whoever gets out of the house on time with kids takes home the Gold.
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most adults do in an entire day.
- “It’s okay, honey, all I need is a combined total of three hours of sleep.” Said no mom. Ever.
- It turns out the fastest land mammal is a toddler after a mother says, “What’s in your mouth?”
- I was a snack before I was a mom. Now I’m a Happy Meal because I come with kids and toys.
- Sometimes the mom who wants to be a Pinterest mom is more of an Amazon Prime mom. And that’s okay.
Jokes on Motherhood
- What's the only thing kids can't sleep through? The creaking of the floor when a mom sneaks away.
- What do magnets and children have in common? They both get stuck to things they're not supposed to.
- Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have children. Make coffee. Totally forget you made coffee. Drink it cold. Voila!
- How did one mom give another mom kudos? “That is so mom point.”
- The motherhood challenge: Go to bed early to catch up on sleep or stay awake to finally get some alone time.
- Being a mom is constantly cleaning up after a party you didn’t attend.
- There’s no hood like motherhood.
- You know you’re a mom when you have a sticky purse — with no logical explanation.
- You know you’re a mom when you legit have favorite episodes of "Bluey".
- If being a mom was easy, dads would do it.
- Great parenting is somewhere between, “Don’t do that!” and “Ah, what the heck?”
- In life you don’t get a manual. You get a mom.
New Mom Jokes
- What do newborns and new moms have in common? You both go home from the hospital in diapers.
- Mom math: The ability to rattle off the exact number of months, weeks or days your child is at a moment's notice.
- Ever wonder why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold? Now you know.
- Nap time is the new “Happy Hour.”
- “Sure, you can hold my newborn without cleaning your hands," said no new mom ever.
- Wondering if my baby is sleeping through the night? Don’t. And no.
- When your baby looks like a model and you’re on day three of the same sweatpants.
- Spit up: The new must-have accessory.
Keep the laughs coming all year long