Every motherhood journey is unique, but one truth remains universal: there will be funny moments along the way.
Even what’s not necessarily amusing in real time, like a four-alarm diaper disaster or toddler meltdown at the library, is fodder for a chuckle down the road.
For an express ticket to get your laugh on, we’ve assembled a list of mom jokes to lighten hearts and moods everywhere. And while most people can't resist a solid dad joke, these spot-on puns serve up just the right amount of cheese and groan to give dads everywhere a serious run for their money.
So, get ready to shake your head with a smirk and roll your eyes, because these clever one-liners are about to deliver the motherload of laughs and, we promise, that's no joke.
Funny Mom Jokes
- What’s another name for a petite mom? Mini-mum.
- What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves? I'm not a-moosed right now.
- What did the mother alpaca say to her hungry baby on their way to grab a bite? Don’t worry, dear, alpaca snack.
- What did the mom say to her teenager when she asked her to keep a secret? Mum’s the word.
- What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
- How did the digital clock show off to its mother? Look, Ma, no hands!
- What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
- How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
- What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
- Why was the cookie sad? Because its mommy was a wafer too long.
- When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
- What stresses a baby strawberry out? When its mom is in a jam.
- What do mother spiders complain about the most? How much time their kids spend on the web.
- What’s the best way to describe a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
- I just stitched a honey bee to my cardigan. Now it’s my Cardi Bee.
- What did the mom dog say after a long day with the kids? Boy, that was ruff.
- How do you put a baby spaceship to sleep? You rocket.
- What kind of shoes do mamma bananas wear? Slippers.
Best Mom Jokes
- How do you know when something is officially lost? Your mom can't find it.
- Mothers of teenagers understand why some animals eat their young.
- Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.
- Motherhood: Where a solo trip to the bathroom no longer exists.
- What's the fastest way for a mom to get her kids' attention? Sit down and look relaxed.
- Silence is golden. Until you have children. Then it’s highly suspicious.
- Did you hear about the new Olympic sport? Whoever gets out of the house on time with kids takes home the Gold.
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most adults do in an entire day.
- “It’s okay, honey, all I need is a combined total of three hours of sleep.” Said no mom. Ever.
- It turns out the fastest land mammal is a toddler after a mother says, “What’s in your mouth?”
- I was a snack before I was a mom. Now I’m a Happy Meal because I come with kids and toys.
- Sometimes the mom who wants to be a Pinterest mom is more of an Amazon Prime mom. And that’s okay.
Jokes on Motherhood
- What's the only thing kids can't sleep through? The creaking of the floor when a mom sneaks away.
- What do magnets and children have in common? They both get stuck to things they're not supposed to.
- Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have children. Make coffee. Totally forget you made coffee. Drink it cold. Voila!
- How did one mom give another mom kudos? “That is so mom point.”
- The motherhood challenge: Go to bed early to catch up on sleep or stay awake to finally get some alone time.
- Being a mom is constantly cleaning up after a party you didn’t attend.
- There’s no hood like motherhood.
- You know you’re a mom when you have a sticky purse — with no logical explanation.
- You know you’re a mom when you legit have favorite episodes of "Bluey".
- If being a mom was easy, dads would do it.
- Great parenting is somewhere between, “Don’t do that!” and “Ah, what the heck?”
- In life you don’t get a manual. You get a mom.
New Mom Jokes
- What do newborns and new moms have in common? You both go home from the hospital in diapers.
- Mom math: The ability to rattle off the exact number of months, weeks or days your child is at a moment's notice.
- Ever wonder why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold? Now you know.
- Nap time is the new “Happy Hour.”
- “Sure, you can hold my newborn without cleaning your hands," said no new mom ever.
- Wondering if my baby is sleeping through the night? Don’t. And no.
- When your baby looks like a model and you’re on day three of the same sweatpants.
- Spit up: The new must-have accessory.
Keep the laughs coming all year long