When it comes to telling jokes, it seems like dads get all the credit for their funny puns and corny one-liners.
But that doesn't mean that mom jokes aren't a thing. In fact, if anyone's got a solid sense of humor, it's obviously your mom. After all, she had to raise you, right?
In honor of mothers everywhere, we've collected our favorite mom jokes to use however you see fit.
Break one of these family-friendly anecdotes out at the dinner table or save them for the car, school or work, because they're all clean and, better yet, pretty darn funny.
For example, what did the mother alpaca say to her hungry baby on their way to grab a bite? “Don’t worry, dear. Alpaca snack.”
Have you heard the one about the pony that went to school nurse? It was feeling a little hoarse.
How about this one: Did you ever wonder why mamma cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
And we're just getting started. Read on for a few laughs or to give Dad a serious run for his money, because while he might think he's the king of comedy, it's Mom who's the true comedian in the family. And that's no joke.
Mom jokes for kids
- What do mommy bees use to brush their hair? Honeycombs.
- How do little bees get to school? The ride the school buzz.
- Why did the mamma battery take a vacation? She needed to recharge.
- Why was the baby strawberry sad? It got into a jam.
- Why did the girl bring a ladder on the bus? She wanted to go to high school.
- How do baby trains eat? They choo-choo.
- Why don't leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They're always spotted.
- How do you catch a school of fish? Use bookworms.
- How do mother ghosts always know when their children are lying? Because they can see right through them.
- Why do mamma cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
- Where do mother boats take their babies when they get sick? To the doc.
- What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
- Why did the pony go to the school nurse? It was a little horse.
- What did the mom flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- Where do sheep go on school vacation? To the Baaaaa-hamas.
Funny Mom Jokes
- What’s another name for a petite mom? Mini-mum.
- What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves? I'm not a-moosed right now.
- What did the mother alpaca say to her hungry baby on their way to grab a bite? “Don’t worry, dear. Alpaca snack.”
- What did the mom say to her teenager when she asked her to keep a secret? “Mum’s the word.”
- What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
- How did the digital clock show off to its mother? Look, Ma, no hands!
- What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
- How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
- What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
- Why was the cookie sad? Because its mommy was a wafer too long.
- When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
- What stresses a baby strawberry out? When its mom is in a jam.
- What do mother spiders complain about the most? How much time their kids spend on the web.
- What’s the best way to describe a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
- I just stitched a honey bee to my cardigan. Now it’s my Cardi Bee.
- What did the mom dog say after a long day with the kids? “Boy, that was ruff.”
- How do you put a baby spaceship to sleep? You rocket.
- What kind of shoes do mamma bananas wear? Slippers.
Best Mom Jokes
- How do you know when something is officially lost? Your mom can't find it.
- Mothers of teenagers understand why some animals eat their young.
- Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.
- Motherhood: Where a solo trip to the bathroom no longer exists.
- What's the fastest way for a mom to get her kids' attention? Sit down and look relaxed.
- Silence is golden. Until you have children. Then it’s highly suspicious.
- Did you hear about the new Olympic sport? Whoever gets out of the house on time with kids takes home the Gold.
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most adults do in an entire day.
- “It’s okay, honey, all I need is a combined total of three hours of sleep.” Said no mom ever.
- It turns out the fastest land mammal is a toddler after a mother says, “What’s in your mouth?”
- I was a snack before I was a mom. Now I’m a Happy Meal because I come with kids and toys.
- Sometimes the mom who wants to be a Pinterest mom is more of an Amazon Prime mom. And that’s okay.
Jokes on Motherhood
- What's the only thing kids can't sleep through? The creaking of the floor when a mom sneaks away.
- What do magnets and children have in common? They both get stuck to things they're not supposed to.
- Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have children. Make coffee. Totally forget you made coffee. Drink it cold. Voilà!
- How did one mom give another mom kudos? “That is so mom point.”
- The motherhood challenge: Go to bed early to catch up on sleep or stay awake to finally get some alone time.
- Being a mom is constantly cleaning up after a party you didn’t attend.
- There’s no hood like motherhood.
- You know you’re a mom when you have a sticky purse — with no logical explanation.
- You know you’re a mom when you legit have favorite episodes of “Bluey.”
- If being a mom was easy, dads would do it.
- Great parenting is somewhere between, “Don’t do that!” and “Ah, what the heck?”
- In life you don’t get a manual. You get a mom.
New Mom Jokes
- What do newborns and new moms have in common? You both go home from the hospital in diapers.
- Mom math: The ability to rattle off the exact number of months, weeks or days your child is at a moment's notice.
- Ever wonder why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold? Now you know.
- Nap time is the new “Happy Hour.”
- “Sure, you can hold my newborn without cleaning your hands,” said no new mom ever.
- Wondering if my baby is sleeping through the night? Don’t. And no.
- When your baby looks like a model and you’re on day three of the same sweatpants.
- Spit up: The new must-have accessory.
Keep the laughs coming all year long
