There's no need to kiss the Blarney Stone this St. Patrick's Day to up your luck — at least not when it comes to finding short puns and one-liners, anyway.
That's because we've got everything you need right here and ready to use as a St. Patrick's Day Instagram caption or anything else you've got in mind to celebrate the year's greenest holiday.
Friends and family will think they've discovered a pot o' gold after hearing one of these St Patrick's Day puns and we promise, that's no joke.
These funny puns include precious nuggets like "I'm comin' up, so you better get this paddy started," "Ale in a day's work" and "Don't worry, beer happy."
But we've also got more traditional dad jokes. For example, what do horses wear for good luck? Shoes, of course!
Did we tickle your funny bone yet? Or, better yet, did we put a little Erin your go-bra?
If so, today really is your lucky day because there are plenty more where those came from.
So, read on for more corny jokes. One thing's for sure: No matter which one of these funny St. Paddy's Day-inspired puns you choose, you'll have everyone Dublin over in laughter.
Short St. Patrick's Day puns
- It's time to get this paddy started.
- Who's your paddy?
- It ain't over until it's clover.
- I'm the life of the paddy.
- Ale in a day's work.
- You're worth your weight in gold.
- Irish you were beer.
- Ain't that a Seamus?
- Shamrock and roll.
- Ale that glitters is gold.
- You're really clover.
- You're my lucky charm.
- You shamrock my world.
- Life is brew-tiful.
- Don't worry, beer happy.
- May the luck be with you.
- Irish you knew how much I loved you.
- What kind of potatoes aren’t Irish? French fries.
- How can you tell if an Irishman likes your puns? He’s Dublin over in laughter.
- How do Irish zombies greet each other? Top of the moanin’ to you!
- What do horses wear for good luck? Shoes.
- How do you make gold soup? Add 14 carrots.
- Why shouldn’t you iron four-leaf clovers? It’s not good to press your luck.
- What do ghosts drink on St. Paddy’s Day? Boo’s.
- What do you call a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
- What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
- What kind of spells do leprechauns use? Lucky charms.
- What happens when four-leaf clovers get jealous? They turn green with envy.
- Where can you always find gold on St. Patrick's Day? In the dictionary.
- What's long, green and only comes once a year? The St. Patrick's Day parade.
- Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because real rocks are too heavy.
- What's the best month for a parade? March.
- Why did the Irishmen stop searching for gold? It didn't pan out.
- What does Ireland have more than anyone else? Irishmen.
- What do leprechauns use to clean the toilet? Mr. Green.
- What did one leprechaun say to the other? Let's take an elfie.
- Why aren't leprechauns barbers? They just don't cut it.
- What dog breed is a leprechaun's favorite? Golden retriever.
- What are leprechaun's such good gardeners? They have green thumbs.
- Why did one leprechaun break up with the other? She discovered he was a gold digger.
- How do leprechauns get to the moon? On sham-rockets.
- How do you know when leprechauns are fighting? They give each other the gold shoulder.
- Where do police put misbehaving leprechauns? The paddy wagon.
- Why aren't leprechauns doctors? They don't have the patience.
- What position do leprechauns play in baseball? Shortstop.
- Why did the leprechaun quit working at the muffler factory? It was exhausting.
- What's the leprechaun's favorite dance? Shamrock Shake.
- Why do leprechauns argue a lot? They're short-tempered.
- Why are leprechauns shoemakers? They have sole.
- What do leprechauns drink in the morning? Irish coffee.
- What do you call leprechauns who pretend to love music? Sham rockers.
- Why couldn't the leprechaun pay rent? He was a little short.
- What did the teacher say to the leprechaun after he was caught cheating? Seamus on you.
- What do leprechauns put on top of presents? Rainbows.
- Why did the leprechaun study environmental science? He wanted to go green.
- What happens when leprechauns drink too much? They get lucked up.
- What do leprechauns put on their decks? Paddy O' furniture.
- Why do leprechauns make good secretaries? They know shorthand.
- Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? To get to the other side.
- How did the leprechaun win the race? He took a shortcut.