You ever wonder when a funny pun becomes a true dad joke? When the punchline is apparent, naturally. Take this one-liner, for example:
What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A pop-sicle.
To help celebrate Dad's big day, we've got a supply of Father's Day jokes to use however you see fit.
Whether you're taking your pop, grandad, stepfather, uncle, brother or husband to a ballgame, a special dinner or other activity, these silly puns and corny one-liners dedicated to all things Father's Day are just what the occasion calls for.
After all, there's never a bad time for a good chuckle. Better yet, you'll be benefitting dear ol' dad by providing new material for his one-man comedy show. Because while he's got plenty of his own funny gags, you can never have too many.
Of course, you still need to pick out a thoughtful gift or a greeting card with a message written inside because it's Father's Day, and you can't let it slip by without letting that special guy know just how much you appreciate him.
In the meantime, practice telling these dumb jokes, because the real present this Father's Day is the gift of laughter.
Funny Father's Day one-liners
- My dad's computer caught a cold. He must have left a window open.
- My dad said he wanted something groundbreaking for Father's Day. I got him a shovel.
- Did you hear about the father who cut off his left leg? He's all right now.
- I never liked my dad's facial hair. But now it's starting to grow on me.
- My dad bought a pair of camouflage pants. Now I can't find him.
- My father doesn't like trees. He thinks they're shady.
- For Father's Day, my dad asked for a gift with no strings attached. So I bought him a broken guitar.
- Why did the grandpa throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
- I got my dad a book about glue once. He couldn't put it down.
- My dad won't play cards in the jungle. He says there are too many cheetahs.
- My grandfather got fired from the keyboard factory. He wasn't putting in enough shifts.
- My dad wanted to listen to music while we were fishing. So I put on something catchy.
- What did the papa cow say to the baby cow? It's pasture bedtime.
Best Father's Day jokes
- My dad really loves math. And then sum.
- What did the cheerleader serve for Father's Day breakfast? Cheerios.
- What do lobsters do on Father's Day? Shellabrate their dads.
- Where do cows go on dates? The moo-vies.
- What does the pig give his dad for Father's Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
- When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
- Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted to get his quarter back.
- What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
- Where do cows get their clothes? From cattle-logs.
- My father used to be afraid of hurdles. But he got over it.
- Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
- Why can't you borrow money from elves? They're always a little short.
- How do trains eat? They choo-choo.
- Why don't leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They're always spotted.
- How do Eskimos fix broken dishes? With igloo.
- Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
- What's the downside to birthdays? Too many will kill you.
- What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
- Why do golfers always have an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
- Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn't bad either.
- Why shouldn’t you argue with a dinosaur? You’ll get jurasskicked.
- What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A pop-sicle.
- Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
- What did the baby otter say to its dad? You are a dad like no otter.
- What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent!
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Never-lands.
- What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
- Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
- Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
- How do pigs wake up their dad on Father's Day? With plenty of hogs and kisses.
- Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
- Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it’s pointless.
- Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.
- How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
- How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face!
- I just invented a car that runs on herbs… I think I invented thyme travel.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta!
- What do you call someone who isn’t a dad but tells dad jokes? A faux pa.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I saw a guy at the bank checking his balance so I pushed him over.
- Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home? His sails went through the roof.
Father's Day jokes for the whole family
- What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the phone buy glasses? Because it lost its contacts.
- Swimming with sharks is so expensive. It cost me an arm and a leg!
- What did the buffalo say to his son as he walked out the door? Bi-son.
- How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house!
- What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? Open toad sandals.
- The only reason I went to Wimbledon was because I heard it was a women’s singles event.
- My wife laughed at me when I told her I could make a car out of macaroni. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!
- I'd tell you the joke about the butter, but I don't want you to spread it!
- How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
- I had a long conversation with a dolphin once. We just seemed to click.
- It was a lovely wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
- The police just arrested the world’s tongue twister champion. They say he’ll be given a tough sentence.
- My dad adopted a dog from the local blacksmith. As soon as he got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
- I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.
- What does a baby computer call its dad? Data.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
- Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
- Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt-quacks.
- Why did Mickey Mouse go into space? He wanted to find Pluto.
- What makes music in your hair? A headband.
- How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? It’s full.
- I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember which side the sun rises on. Then it dawned on me.
- What did the horse say after it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
- What did the book join the police? It wanted to go undercover.
- What’s the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.
- How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked? On the dark side.
