TODAY   |  November 24, 2013

Your holiday etiquette questions, answered

Is it okay to ask guests to remove their shoes? And if you’re a guest, should you bring a dish to share? Etiquette expert Anna Post and comedian Chuck Nice weighed in on how to mind those holiday manners.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>> the gifts go over on the table and the shoes go there.

>> but this is an outfit.

>> in pasadena, california, spa and lifestyle correspondent candy holiday is following suit.

>> it's a no-shoes party.

>> getting everyone's holiday and their shoes off to an early start.

>> do i take off my shoes?

>> i expect for people to take their shoes off in my home because i would respect their wishes and their home.

>> if you're a guest and you're asked to take off your shoes, take them off.

>> reporter: tonight her 20-some-odd guests have left their shoes at the door, trading them in for socks and slippers.

>> if i didn't have a pedicure, it would be totally annoying.

>> it surprised me at first but the fact that slippers are provided makes me feel a lot more at ease.

>> it's an interesting concept to take off shoes at a holiday party. since that's the request and we're the guest, we should abide.

>> does the ask alone get partygoers off on the wrong foot?

>> it isn't rude for a hostess to ask a guest to take off his or her shoes, but i think it's a little inconsiderate.

>> in the beginning it was about keeping the house clean and taking care of it since it's historic. to me it shows respect.

>> reporter: this party proving you don't need shoes to have a good time.

>> it turns out khan dand her guests are not alone. 89% of the folks who responded to a poll on the interior design blog apartment therapy said shoes off means shoes off any time. they didn't feel there should be any exception to the rule just because it is a holiday party.

>> wow. whether you're a host or a guest, this is the time of year where there are a lot of questions about good manners and ed quet. anna post is an etiquette expert and great granddaughter of emily post and chuck knight is a comedian, which qualifies you --

>> for so much.

>> to comment on anything, anything in the world.

>> which is perfect. in terms of anything, should you ask your guests -- full disclosure, my house i don't like shoes on. this is a battle between me and my husband. who should win? do you ask them to take your shoes off or not?

>> your house , your rules. a lot of people who live in the snowbelt are so used to this, we often ask would you like me to take my shoes off because we're used to getting that request. i think as a guest you should honor the request. as the host, provide socks or slippers because a lot of people are uncomfortable about their feet.

>> chuck, doesn't a person have the right to walk in and keep their shoes on?

>> i would say if you're a person who uses tinactin or any other kind of foot deodorant you should be able to take your shoes off. the truth is, it's your house . the way i feel, i've been in a lot of homes where people tell me to take my shoes off and we're still outside. i don't know what that's about.

>> that's taking it a little far.

>> when you think about it, there's an entire culture where everyone takes off their shoes no matter what home you're entering, so it really isn't that far fetched.

>> you can bring your own socks. i always bring my own socks.

>> do you really?

>> i do actually. i left them at my friend missy's house . in case it was a no- shoe house , i bring my own.

>> i was going to ask what do you bring for a hostess gift?

>> wine is a real classic. if you don't know somebody you might pass on that in case they don't drink. flowers are lovely. if you want to go beyond etiquette 101, bring them already in a vase. a box of chocolate, gourmet food goodies, just a small token of appreciation. don't be surprise fd they don't serve it that night. if it's food, they may have their menu planned.

>> i agree with everything you said except the food. don't bring food to someone else 's house unless they ask you. if they ask you for a dish, then show up with a dish. oh, my god, i love that pie you make, then you bring it. otherwise what you're saying is listen, i know that you do a great job with all that, but here is what's missing, here is what's lacking.

>> you should ask, can i bring something.

>> you can certainly ask. i'm talking little treats for enjoying later. absolutely, i'm totally with chuck. we've got holidays coming up, ask first before you bring a dish because they, believe me, have planned a menu. if everybody does that you have eight pumpkin pies.

>> you can bring the wine home if they don't drink it, right?

>> a little awkward.

>> i mean that seriously. it came up. someone said they would, they spent a lot of time.

>> what you do is open it up at the house and start drinking right in front of them.

>> that solves that issue. also on our list, because we're spending time with family and friends, is it okay to say to people, the thanksgiving table is a no-phone area?

>> this doesn't work?

>> i think it's okay. as everybody comes into the dining room . dinnertime, put your phones away, leave them in the living room then you're not pointing out that one person at the table that has their phone and saying chuck, turn off your phone.

>> it would be me. i'm not going to lie. i'm going to turn off my phone but turn on my back-up phone so i'm covered.

>> good to know.

>> very important. you guys are great. thanks for coming here. anna post and chuck knight.

>>> sandra lee is cooking up a thanksgiving feast after these messages. there are seniors who have left hundreds of dollars