Wallet Watch is a new series on protecting your identity and financial well-being. For our first installment — and just in time for Valentine's Day — cybersecurity expert Theresa Payton stopped by the 3rd Hour of TODAY to share tips for avoiding falling for online romance scams.
In 2024 alone, Americans reported losing over $642 million to romance or confidence scams, with the majority of victims over the age of 40, according to an FBI Internet Crime Report. And these numbers come merely from the reported cases. The real toll is inarguably much higher, as many victims feel ashamed of being tricked and decide not to come forward.
What are romance scams, exactly? Fraudsters strike up online relationships with the the goal of extracting money out of the target. Scammers typically find victims and make contact via online dating sites, social media or those random wrong number texts that seemingly sprouted out of nowhere in the past few years.
These scams can hit anyone, but people who are lonely and in search of genuine connection are especially at risk. Though middle aged and older adults are the more conventional victim profiles, younger people are increasingly finding themselves in the crosshairs.
The devastation of falling for a romance scam goes beyond the pocketbook. Victims can lose their life savings, face crippling debt and experience profound depression, feelings of isolation and even PTSD-like symptoms or suicidal ideation. Some scammers also steal identities to commit more fraud, turning victims into unwitting accomplices.
So what can you do to protect yourself against these scammers? Follow the tried-and-true tips below to spot common red flags, verify identities and stay safe while meeting people online. Plus, learn what to do if you find yourself a victim of a romance scam.
Watch for these early red flags
You know more than you think when it comes to protecting yourself from online scammers. If even one of these red flags appears, pause and verify.
- They instantly love bomb: They rush intense emotions and make perfect-sounding promises far too early. If they think you're soulmates after a few weeks of online communication, be wary.
- They avoid meeting in person and live video calls: Someone you've made a real connection with wants to see you. If there’s always an excuse, such as an overseas job, military deployment or a broken camera, they’re likely not who they say they are. Prerecorded videos are similarly risky, as many scammers pay people on platforms like Fiver to stave off concerns and continue the scam.
- Their stories don't add up: Look out for inconsistent details, broken English or overly scripted messages.
- They need money: Scammers can invent sudden “emergencies,” such as hospital bills, travel issues or investment opportunities, and this is how they get their victims. They pressure urgency or promise to meet upon the gratification of this request. Never send money, gifts or personal info to someone you’ve only met online.
- They quickly push off-platform communication: If you met on a dating site, stay on it longer before moving to text, email or other mechanisms. These platforms have built-in protections intended to keep users safe.
Verify their identity
If you’re chatting with someone online, you don’t have to wait until they do something suspicious to make sure they’re real.
Reverse image search their photos via Google Images or TinEye.com. If pictures appear on stock sites, military profiles or under other names, beware! Try Deepware Scanner on any prerecorded videos. Scammers reuse scripts, so go to your favorite search engine and copy-paste their exact phrasing into search. Run their name/phone/email through free sites, or just Google with “scam” added.
Protect yourself with these golden rules
- Never send money, gifts, or personal info to someone you’ve only met online.
- Talk about any new connections with trusted friends and family members early. Your loved ones may see potential red flags you miss.
- If you met on a dating site, stay on it longer before moving to text, email or other mechanisms. These platforms have built-in protections intended to keep users safe.
What to do if you fall for a scam
First, know you’re not alone and recovery is possible. The first step is to report the scammer to the platform on which you met. Then, file with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. This is how the government can help catch these criminals and bring them to justice.
Get free, expert help from the Identity Theft Resource Center (888-400-5530). This nonprofit organization guides victims through financial recovery, emotional support and identity cleanup.
Consider calling your US Senator’s office or your Congressperson to let them know what happened. They need to be more aware of the amount of fraud happening in their districts.
This section is paid for by LifeLock.
Want to better protect yourself online? Using an identity and credit-monitoring service such as LifeLock can help. Learn more about LifeLock’s services and score a 30-day free trial of the company's standard or ultimate plus coverage models. Note: Memberships automatically renew after 30 days. See offer details.
Meet the expert
Our team features a range of qualified experts and contributors in our broadcast segments to reveal the latest in trends, remarkable sale events and all things shopping across a variety of categories.
- Theresa Payton is the CEO of the cybersecurity firm Fortalice Solutions. She previously served as the first female White House Chief Information Officer under President George W. Bush.
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