TODAY   |  July 19, 2013

Tips for starting new career, love, friendship

Authors Marci Alboher and Gabrielle Bernstein offer advice for transitioning into a new career or relationship, and give tips on how to recover from a bad friendship. They say it’s important to invest in people and activities you care about, which can help change other people’s lives.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> we're back on this try day friday with more of "today." if you ever found yourself living a life you wish you could change, today could be just the beginning. how do you take that step toward a new career or relationship.

>> here to help you open the book on a better second chapter of marcie, the author of "encore career hand dbook" and gabriel author of "may cause miracles."

>> lovely to have you both here.

>> we're going to talk about specific questions in a moment. but so many women are going through that sort of change in their life where they want a second chapter, but they are afraid. they aren't quite sure how to take that step.

>> right, right. i spent a lot of time talking to people who are kind of -- kids are launched. it's time for something new.

>> everything that defined them before is no longer there.

>> and it's really about kind of -- sometimes it's about reinventing yourself. also people have this real urge to do something that matters in the world. we're talking about your second act and better self. but i think people are seeking a way to make a better world at the same time.

>> transitions can be very paralyzing for people so i can see there's a lot of fear that comes up around it. so finding tools to really navigate that change is necessary at that time.

>> we took a lot of viewer questions and whittled them down to these. this comes from stacey. i have been a stay-at-home mom for five years. is it possible to go from mommy to career woman without going back to school? that can be daunting?

>> yes. the answer is yes. and i think the thing is to stop thinking of yourself as going from mommy to, you know, think of all the work you've done.

>> she's still going to be a mommy.

>> you'll always be that. what have you done in your community? what have you done in volunteering, fund-raising and running your kids' schools and raising kids and all the issues that raises. have you dealt with learning issues. have you raised money for a big fund-raiser.

>> you have done stuff like that.

>> that's the stuff you have to position as the work you have been doing. both in your community and that's going to be the stuff that's going to show up on your resume. you can put it on your linked in profile as volunteer work .

>> sometimes it's hard to find what you really want to do. that's what people have trouble with.

>> i think it's really helpful to focus on your effortless actions, where were you a philanthropist or working in the cooking arena. what did you do by choice. that can help you get inspired to do that next career path.

>> let's go into dating. i'm a 40-year-old divorced just over a year and i have no idea how to get back in the dating world. that's, you know, people say go online.

>> it's changed so much when she was dating before.

>> i just have to give -- gabrielle is the expert on this. i have personal experience to this one because i lived through that one. and i got back into the dating market at 39 and i met my now husband who was 46 and never been married at the time.

>> how did you meet him?

>> online.

>> is that the --

>> my mom met her husband on at 55. this is an exciting time to date. it's so easy. there's so many more resources and obviously success stories.

>> all right. this one --

>> it's fun.

>> all right. she says kimberly writes, getting ready tor an empty-nester. stay at home mom for 20 years. help.

>> yes, so you know what? empty-nester, i think i read this question. kids are going off to college. it's kind of like time for your -- we need like school for the second half of life. that's what this woman needs to launch her own encore career and figure out how she's going to match up what she has with what the world needs. and it could be going back to school. could be learning in some kind of whole new way, a fellowship, adult internship. volunteering. there's so many ways to get your feet wet and try some experimenting.

>> a lot of it has to do with what you can afford at that point. it's one thing to say i'm just going to become a painter and you don't have to make a living. what if you have to make a living.

>> if you have to make a living, then similar to the last question, focus on what you are inspired by, what's exciting for you. if you are going back out to the workforce and interviewing. if you are energized by what you're going after, you'll be more likely to get that job opportunity.

>> you have to be honest about your own abilities. i have a friend who just, you know, decided and at a certain age, i'm going to be an actress. and i tried to explain to her, me, too. i mean, we all want to be an actress. it's not as easy as it sounds. you better have some passion about it and willing to put in the work.