TODAY

TODAY   |  March 07, 2014

5 life lessons people learn too late

Liz Vaccariello from Reader's Digest explains a few life lessons that can improve your relationships, such as understanding that opposites don’t attract forever and that it’s healthy for kids to live with occasional disappointments.

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>>> we're back on this try day, friday. we're fighting over who gets to introduce our next guests.

>> you do, you do.

>> we're back with more of "today." in the five life lessons people learn.

>> studies have shown the key to living a healthier and happier life is by surrounding yourself with strong relationships.

>> sometimes we don't know how to handle the people closest to us so reader's digest came up with a list of rules.

>> its editor in chief liz vaccariello is here to share them with us. these are five really great sort of rules. and first one is, i guess, essentially people don't change. you have to accept people as they are.

>> yeah. radical acceptance saves the day. we all have a parent or grown child or a friend even or a partner and trying to fix them back fires. what you should do is compromise or lean in to that trait or behavior that you don't like. so good example would be say your son doesn't want to apply for college. rather than bombarding him with pamphlets of college, express enthusiasm for the fact he wants to clean aquariums for a living or whatever.

>> yes.

>> reverse psychology is what we called it in my day.

>> next, helicopter parenting . a lot of that going on.

>> parents who hover, not only do they get a great big eye roll from teachers but developmental experts because children need to experience stress, and they need to learn to solve problems or they become depressed later in life.

>> ignore them a little.

>> always there to listen, but let them solve their own problems, step out of the room if they're having a disagreement.

>> let them become an adult. thank you. no, thank you.

>> this one seems to be when you're dating someone and opposites attract, you think, but --

>> the most successful marriages are between people who are very similar. they have similar moral values , personalityies traits, even religious background, age, that matters as well. but you don't want to -- you don't want it to become too similar, because then there is no spark. so what is the happy medium? you want to make sure that you find somebody who has different passions and experiences so that you can share that. that ignites a relationship, but you're on the same page when it comes to raising children, and your own moral obligations.

>> somebody who will let you grow, that's very, very important.

>> true.

>> having a good social network is important, right?

>> you have to exercise, eat well, not smoke, those things make you live a long life, but if you don't have social interactions and friendships, that can be a dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. but what we're talking not just facebook friends, not just texting a lot of people, but meaningful relationships, socializing -- get them on the phone, be in person, have a conversation, put down your phone and interact and reach out with them before you need something. before you need something. that's always the foundation of trust.

>> right. and the fifth one, you have to go on your website or our website and find out. great tease.

>> thank you so much. you look beautiful today.