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Mother's Day survey: THIS is what moms really want

It's OK if you don't make us breakfast in bed. No, really.
/ Source: TODAY

Happy Mother's Day ... um, we guess? An online survey of more than 500 moms on found that 80% say Mother's Day will be different this year, and 41% say it will be worse.

The stresses of parenting during a pandemic, distance learning and working from home have added weight to moms' mental load. For some, Mother's Day this May 10 might feel like just another day to slog through.

But it's not all bad. Social distancing actually will give some moms a break on Sunday. While some states are beginning to ease restrictions, most people across the country are still staying at home and avoiding big crowds to keep themselves, their families and their communities safe from the coronavirus. A third of moms in our survey said they're secretly relieved that they have to stay at home with their immediate families, thus skipping big extended family celebrations with grandmothers or mothers-in-law.

"One of the many silver linings of this quarantine is that we can get a free pass to get out of things we feel like we should do, but would rather not," said parenting expert Amy McCready, a TODAY Parents contributor and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions.

In fact, 13% of moms say they expect this Mother's Day to be better than usual. Of course, the quality of your Mother's Day might correspond to how "hands on" you are with the planning; a third of respondents say they're involved with planning their own Mother's Day festivities. The best advice for a happy day? Communication is key.

"Mother’s Day will look different than past years, and that’s OK," McCready said. "Talk to your partner up front about what your ideal Mother’s Day looks like this year. Be honest about your wishes, and what you want — and don’t want."

Moms who are a little shy about telling their partners what they want for their special day should check out our handy, printable guide — just circle what you want!

Many moms indicated that they're willing to take a pass on some traditions. Only 9% of respondents in our survey said they wish for a traditional breakfast in bed. ("Wow sweetie, you made toast for me! Using literally every pot and pan we own! I love it!")

The most wished-for gift? Some alone time. Not a shocker, McCready said.

"These have been strange times, with routines off-schedule, non-stop family time, and moms stepping into roles of teacher, coach, short order cook, and of course, mom. Mothers I work with report feeling 'touched out' because many kids are more clingy and needy than usual," she said.

A sweet hand-crafted card or gift from the kids is a close second on our Moms' survey. And if you're looking for help with the perfect gift, look no further: This printable questionnaire for kids to fill out about their dear Mom is exactly the sort of cute expression of love that will bring a smile to any mom's face.

McCready urges moms to use Mother's Day as a chance to recharge their own batteries, whatever that looks like for them personally.

"Maybe it’s a walk in nature — no kids, pets or husbands allowed. Maybe it’s a bubble bath with a good book. Maybe it’s a day free from laundry, refereeing sibling fights and straightening the house," McCready said. "You deserve it, especially this year!"

Happy Mother's Day!

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