Jason Kelce is opening up about the "nerve-racking" days leading up to his tearful retirement speech and the "terrifying" unknown of life without football after walking away from the NFL following 13 seasons with the Philadelphia Eagles.
Two days after his emotional, 45-minute farewell, the future Hall of Fame center reflected on it alongside his younger brother, Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce, in the March 6 episode of their "New Heights" podcast.
"It’s been a long time coming," Kelce said about his retirement. "Obviously I’ve debated retiring for the last few seasons. It was nerve-wracking getting to that day, but a lot of the things that I said and shared are things that I’ve wanted to share for a long time. And you wait for the moment where it feels right to do it."
Jason Kelce's speech was a compilation of notes he had taken on his phone throughout his career. He thanked a host of family, friends and coaches who helped him along his journey to 193 total NFL games.
"The retirement speech was one for the ages," Travis said. "Ladies and gentlemen if you haven’t heard it, grab a box of Kleenex before you do it. The guy poured his heart out as he does every single time talking about the things he loves. It was beautiful to see."
Kelce took several minutes to compose himself as he cried before he even started his speech. He said he had previously read it aloud at home to his wife, Kylie.
"It felt good to finally get it out there, in some ways," he said. "In other ways it’s still hard, and it hurts. It’s weird. It’s not like it’s easy or hard to say it, it’s more just like hard to come to grips with the finality of it.
"I was hoping I had said it enough times that I wouldn’t cry as much as I did," he continued. "I think it’s good to show emotion through it, but I was sobbing before I even started."
Just thinking about Jason being officially retired had Travis' voice quivering with emotion on the "New Heights" episode.
"To have you out of it, it feels empty," Travis said. "It feels like it’s complete. It was a success. It was fun a-- journey to watch. Like I said yesterday, I just appreciate you showing me the way and bringing us all on the journey with you, big guy.
"I didn’t talk to you about it, I let you kind of do your own thing, and I couldn’t have been more proud listening to you yesterday," he continued. "It’s been a lot of emotions. A lot of sad emotions, a lot of excited emotions. You’ve got the world in your palm right now, dude. You’ve got three little ones that I know you’re dying to watch growing up. It’s just a lot of exciting future things that we have to look forward to."
Jason also spoke about the ratty, sleeveless Eagles T-shirt he decided to wear to his farewell press conference. He often wore it in practice and lifting weights over the years.
“I’m like, ‘This shirt in some ways was a part of this journey with me more than anything else in this closet, so I’ll wear this,’” he said.
Another poignant moment came when longtime Eagles athletic trainer Joe O’Pella, who is recovering from cancer treatments, taped Kelce’s ankles for the press conference. He had been taping Kelce’s ankles and fingers for all 13 seasons.
Kelce, 36, played an Eagles-record 156 games in a row on his way to seven Pro Bowl and six All-Pro selections, but said his body couldn't take any more.
"The reality was it was more firm than it’s ever been this year that I just don’t think physically I can compete at the level that I want to any more and really compete the way I want to," he said.
"I’m hard on myself, and if I go out there and I’m not the player that I want to be, it’ll crush me. I feel very confident in the decision I’ve made. I know that it's time. I’ve had a really good run."
While the yearning to get out there on game day "will never go away," Kelce is looking toward the future.
"It’s over. And that’s good. I think it’s certainly terrifying in some ways because I’ve only really played football my whole life so I’ve got to try and figure something else out."
The success of the "New Heights" podcast and potential television opportunities offer Kelce a path to transition into his next career.
"But at the end of the day it’s still a new chapter," he said. "Incredibly excited about what could happen, and also nervous about what life is going to look like now."
Though Kelce is excited for this post-gam life, the NFL star does have one regret in retiring after a season in which the Eagles started 10-1 and then lost six of their last seven games.
"The one thing that I’m disappointed in about retiring right now, is that I’m retiring when the Eagles had potentially the biggest collapse in the history of the organization," he said. "The reason that I say that I’m upset about that is I really, truly think the Eagles are going to ball out next year. I just really think there is going to be one hell of a bounce back for the Philadelphia Eagles next year, and it really pains me that (I won't be a part of it)."