No one enters into a marriage thinking it won't end in happily ever after. Yet nearly 690,000 Americans filed for divorce in 2021.
While annual divorce rates have steadily declined for more than a decade, there's still a significant number of people who, for better or worse, are faced with the daunting task of starting over again.
Among them? Erin Eloise, a Brooklyn, New York-based yoga instructor. After more than 12 years together, Eloise and her husband split, leaving her struggling to begin anew.
"I found myself in this position where I had to move into a brand new apartment with only my clothing and books — virtually nothing else," Eloise tells TODAY.com. "I didn't know how I was going to do it."
Having heard about Fresh Starts, a modern support registry designed to help support those in the middle of life transitions, Eloise signed up.
"I needed a tangible way to ask for help that wasn't ambiguous or non-specific," she says. "Fresh Starts was recommended to me by a friend and it's been a lifesaver."
Unlike more traditional registries catered toward newlyweds or parents-to-be, Fresh Starts is geared toward those in need as a result of a significant life change, whether it be a divorce, new apartment or a job relocation.
"What is life if not a series of fresh starts?" says Olivia Dreizen Howell, CEO and co-founder of Fresh Starts. "The wedding and baby industries? They've got themselves covered. We're the support registry for every single other thing in life that people go through."
According to Dreizen Howell, that includes everything from rebuilding a home lost to a natural disaster to coming out or transitioning.
"Everybody is worthy of a registry. Everybody is worthy of support," she explains. That support extends to divorce, too, which, in many ways, still remains largely stigmatized.
"Divorce is the second most life-altering event that people go through next to losing a spouse. There's very minimal support for people who are going through a divorce culturally," she says. "The cultural narrative around divorce is that there's a lot of shame and stigma attached to it."
It's her own divorce that, in part, prompted the Fresh Starts' CEO to form the company with Genevieve Dreizen, her sibling, who also suffered in the aftermath of a breakup that left her without many of the essentials she'd accumulated as one half of an eventually-defunct couple.
"I moved out with nothing except for my clothing. No furniture. No nothing," says Genevieve Dreizen, who explains that despite having a large network of friends who offered to help in various ways, she struggled to ask for what she truly needed, leading she and sister Olivia to form Fresh Starts.
"We wanted to bridge that gap between the people that needed things and the people that wanted to support those people," Genevieve Dreizen says.
Among those who took advantage of that support? Eloise, who says that the registry has been key for crowd-sourcing even the most basic of items.
"I've been able to fill a kitchen and create a bedroom for my son and just so many different things," she says. "Things that I did not have access to and because of financial difficulties across the board, I didn't know how I would handle otherwise."
According to Dreizen Howell, when friends or loved ones experience a breakup or other loss, those around them can be unsure on how to offer their support and may not realize the scope of what's involved in starting over.
"With divorce, we realized people need a way to quickly rebuild their life," Dreizen Howell says. And part of that rebuilding, she explains, is replacing both the big and the little things, many of which people don't often think about, like towels, sheets and even toothbrush holders.
"If you ask somebody going through a divorce, 'Do you need anything? What do you want?' They're going to feel uncomfortable being like, 'Oh, I need a new blender,'" says Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, relationship therapist and coach. "So, it's nice to have this registry to say, 'Well, actually, I'm registered."
Bronstein says that when it comes to divorce, finances can be one of the biggest obstacles. "Lack of money is a huge component of a divorce," she says and explains that for those having a difficult time, even a little financial assistance can go a long way. "Giving someone the gift of money to help them not feel stressed, to take off that financial burden is such a beautiful gift."
However, according to Dreizen Howell, some people can have a hard time giving what they consider "gifts" to those experiencing a breakup.
"People will comment, 'I just got you a wedding present. Why do I have to get you a divorce present?'" she says.
But to Dreizen Howell and sister, Genevieve, the contributions are anything but gifts. Instead, they are tangible ways to offer support to someone in need.
"One of the comments we kept seeing was, 'I'd be happy to bring over a bottle of wine, but I'm not going to buy you cereal bowls,'" says Genevieve Dreizen.
"And Olivia and I were like, 'But they need cereal bowls. Why won't you bring them the cereal bowls?'" she explains and continues, "I think it's important to meet people where they are with what they need."
Dreizen Howell says that the impact of helping goes beyond just providing basic necessities — it can also be instrumental in bolstering someone's mental health at a time they need it most.
"Let's say you're going through a divorce and your friend sends you a new shower curtain. Every time you see that shower curtain, you know that you are loved and supported, and somebody believes in your decision-making," she says. "That little mindset shift actually affects our subconscious and the way that we behave and act as we walk through the world."
A support registry also goes a long way in reminding someone that they aren't alone.
"A breakup can feel so lonely, and some people don't want to burden others," says Bronstein. For those hoping to help, knowing what to do isn't always easy. "I think it's a win-win for everybody."
It's definitely been a game-changer for Eloise who says the registry has been nothing short of transformative.
"I have a terrible time asking for help in general," she says. "Fresh Starts was a tangible way for people to help that didn't feel like I was asking for a handout — I was asking to build a new life."
