“The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On” stars Antonio Mattei and Roxanne Kaiser signed up for the Netflix dating experiment to get on the same page. Roxanne wanted Antonio to be more ambitious and romantic and he hoped that the show would help her believe in marriage. The two butted heads but by Episode Six they could agree on one thing: they were not fans of fellow contestant Alex Chapman.
When Antonio and Roxanne were first introduced on Season Two, they explained that he issued her the ultimatum because he wanted to take the next step in their relationship. Meanwhile, Roxanne questioned if she needed someone who was more career-focused. So, she chose Alex, an entrepreneur, to be her temporary husband for a three-week trial marriage. Antonio partnered with Kat Shelton, who came on the show with Alex.
Initially, Alex and Roxanne seemed to complement each other. But their budding connection soon crumbled after Alex told Antonio that Roxanne did not “respect” him during guys’ night in Episode Five.
Antonio questioned if Alex was being truthful and Roxanne later called Alex out for twisting her words, standing firm that she never said she did not respect Antonio. The last time viewers saw Roxanne and Antonio interact with Alex at The Changeover — when all the contestants reunited with their original partners — there was still animosity between them.
So how do they feel about the situation now? Antonio and Roxanne open up to TODAY.com, in separate interviews, about why they were riled up by Alex’s comments on the show.
For Antonio, he says hearing that Roxanne did not respect him hit a nerve because it brought up his “deepest insecurity.”
“It really has always been my deepest insecurity, (being) a strong leader in a relationship for Roxanne and kind of being the man in the relationship,” he shares. “For him to say that, it just really triggered that in me.”
He says being separated from Roxanne and not hearing her side of the story made him spiral. In Episode Six, he sprinted to Roxanne and Alex’s apartment, literally, to confirm how she felt about him.
Antonio, 30, recalls thinking deep down that maybe Alex, 32, was being honest. At the same time, Alex’s feedback was still hurtful.
Antonio continues, “For him to take that and, you know, put his own little artistic liberty on it. It hit hard. It hit really hard. And in that moment, I just needed to talk to Roxanne and I needed to know what was going on. I needed to know how she felt.”
Now that he is far removed from the heated exchange, Antonio has a different perspective, revealing that he thinks Alex had “good intentions” at the time.
“I think, looking back, Roxanne was a handful for him,” he laughs. “I think he liked me more than he liked her. And I think he was looking out for me.”
He also wonders if Alex was trying to subtly convey that he did not picture Antonio and Roxanne ending up together.
“I think that might be the only thing he’s guilty of. But I mean, other than that, I do think it was a pretty good intention. But I just couldn’t hear it from him,” Antonio says.
Alex’s chat with Antonio also led to a falling out between him and Roxanne. Their three-week trial marriage had a rocky conclusion as the two argued and Roxanne accused Alex of not being genuine.
She tells TODAY.com that their argument was her opportunity to finally confront concerns that she had been suppressing during their trial marriage.
“It all just kind of came to fruition like, ‘Whoa, what I’ve been feeling is real,’” she explains. “I think all girls go through that moment where they have these gut feelings constantly. Like, ‘Something doesn’t feel right but I’m gonna ignore it.’ And then some big thing happens and you’re like, ‘Oh, my God. None of this is right. I don’t like this guy.’”
Roxanne adds, “It all makes sense, the way he was acting. Because there were a lot of white lies I was kind of willing to push to the side a little bit to get to know him more, which honestly, I’m happy I did because I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.”
She said she put all her effort into their trial marriage, but in the end they just were not compatible.
After the blowup, Roxanne apologized to Alex for how she approached the intense conversation. He didn’t have any regrets when she asked if he wanted to apologize.
Although she says his lack of atonement was “crazy,” she doesn’t regret admitting she was wrong.
“I was proud of myself,” she says. “I was more shocked with myself because, in the past, 20s Roxanne would have gotten into a fight and been like, ‘I don’t need to apologize.’”
Roxanne, now 31, recognized in the moment that she also handled the situation poorly.
“When you watch yourself fight it’s a different kind of beast,” she explains. “It’s really weird to watch yourself fight with someone and there’s definitely things I would have done differently when talking to Alex and I’m happy I apologized.”
She adds, “I thought it was really bizarre that he had no apologies and that is really what happened. He had no sorrys. I thought that was strange. Even if it was the smallest thing, you can say sorry. Just say sorry.”