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Jennifer Lopez opens up about what went wrong in her failed romances

The star learned an important lesson about love in the wake of those past relationships.
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez attends \"Second Act\" World Premiere at Regal Union Square Theatre, Stadium 14 on December 12, 2018 in New York City.WireImage
/ Source: TODAY

Jennifer Lopez had a number of high-profile relationships and headline-grabbing breakups before finally finding love with current partner Alex Rodriguez.

And all those failed romances had one thing in common.

In a new interview with Harper's Bazaar, the 49-year-old singer, dancer, actress and producer said that it's not just a coincidence those romances didn't work out.

"For me, the relationship journey has been very up and down," she explained. "But it didn't have to do with anybody else but me — it was about me figuring out me."

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Ben Affleck and former fiancee' Jennifer Lopez, circa 2003. Chris Pizzello / AP

Lopez notably dated rap mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs, married backup dancer Cris Judd, became engaged to big-screen star Ben Affleck, married Latin music hit-maker Marc Anthony and had an on-again/off-again fling for years with backup dancer Casper Smart.

Jennifer Lopez
From Sean "Diddy" Combs to Marc Anthony to Casper Smart, Jennifer Lopez knows about love and loss.Getty Images

But while all of those relationships ended in separations, divorces and breakups, she doesn't necessarily foresee history repeating itself in her romance with A-Rod.

That's because she's a changed woman these days — one who truly loves herself.

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
True love: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez attend the 2018 Met Gala on May 7, 2018, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.Hector Retamal / AFP/Getty Images

"Until you learn to love yourself, you can't completely love (someone else) in a way that is pure and true," she told the magazine. "Once you do that, you can have relationships that are based on love and respect, that are supportive and nourishing."

And that's what she has now.

"There's an evolution there that had to happen for me," she said. "I feel like I'm in a better place now."

And she's happy to share that place with Rodriguez.

"He's brought something to my life that I've never had before, which is kind of an unconditional support and love, kind of a matching of twin souls," J.Lo told Sunday TODAY's Willie Geist last month. "That's a different thing for me; now I know what it's like to be with me."