A woman’s refusal to give up her airplane window seat for a mother and her kids is starting a heated conversation online.
TikTok user Tammy Nelson went viral when she described an encounter with the mom during a recent flight.
“What would you do?” Nelson wrote in her post, which has been viewed more than 2.7 million times on TikTok. “I got on the plane and a woman was sitting in my seat and when I mentioned it to her, she said, ‘Oh, you want to sit here? I thought we could switch because these are my kids’ (she points to the two seats next to mine).’”
Nelson said she told the mom she would be happy to switch seats, as long as she could move to another window seat.
However, the mom wanted Nelson to take her middle seat.
“She points to the row behind us and says, ‘Mine is right there.’ (It’s the middle seat.),” Nelson wrote.
Nelson offered some additional context about the incident in her video’s caption, saying she had “desperately needed sleep” during that flight because she had barely slept the night before and was about to give a presentation to 500 people.
She also said the mom’s two kids appeared to be “about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us.”
Nelson said the mom “proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me — several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty.”
Thousands of people shared their views in the comments, many siding with Nelson.
“Nope. They should have booked their seats together,” one person wrote.
“If you’re going to ask to switch then your seat has to be of equal or greater value,” another person said.
Others said the mom should have asked Nelson whether she would mind switching places before taking her assigned seat.
“Even if I wanted to switch, the second someone acts entitled by sitting there before even asking… Not happening,” one commenter said.
Plenty of parents weighed in, with many arguing that the mom should have planned ahead and booked a seat next to her kids.
“Mother of 3 here and I wouldn’t have switched either,” one person wrote in the comments. “I pay more to book my family together.”
A commenter who said they are a flight attendant also shared their view, writing, “Mothers do this so much, even with grown kids! A row won’t kill ya!”
A few people took a different stance, arguing that Nelson should have just changed seats.
“I would have done it but I wouldn’t have been happy,” one person wrote, though added they had “no judgment” for Nelson.
“Tbh I would just move seats,” another person wrote. “You shouldn’t have to but the panic parents go through in situations like this…..”
The commenter also pointed out that while the mom “definitely should have waited” and asked before swapping seats, the family may not have been able to book three seats together in advance.
“Like yeah they could have booked together but there may not have been 3 seats in a row anywhere else,” she wrote.
Even if the mom had trouble booking her family together, multiple commenters said she should have checked with Nelson first before taking her seat.
“Sometimes airlines change seat assignments (happened to me with kids) but it’s still rude to assume even if that happens,” one person wrote.
To avoid this scenario some airlines "guarantee adjacent seats for young children traveling with an accompanying adult at no additional cost," according to the Department of Transportation. The DOT is also advocating for a legislative proposal that would require airlines to offer "fee-free family seating."
But until then, Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert and former flight attendant, shared her take with TODAY.com in March.
To avoid potentially awkward conversations, she recommended that families talk to a gate agent or flight attendant about changing seats, rather than approaching their fellow passengers directly.
Whitmore also said you should never ask someone to downgrade to a lesser seat.
“People pay for certain seats and people choose certain seats for a reason,” she said.