There are 6 million veteran caregivers in the U.S. Nearly half are men.
For most of the year, these caregivers fly under the radar, tackling the daily grind quietly — and often on their own.
The Hidden Heroes program, an initiative founded by Senator Elizabeth Dole, seeks to bring vital attention to the untold stories of military caregivers. Raising awareness, identifying long-term needs of caregivers and forging connection and community are just three of the goals the program hopes to accomplish.
On October 11, the program hosted its sixth annual Heroes & History Makers gala to shine a light on the caregivers who put their lives on hold to help others. Together with Chairman Tom Hanks, Hidden Heroes Ambassador Savannah Guthrie hosted the event, which took place in Washington, D.C.
Savannah spoke with three of the men about their caregiving journeys.
Making up for lost time
James Traumer served in the Air Force in Vietnam. When he came home, he would often lash out, seemingly without cause. His son, Chris, says that he would often "fly off the handle."
Chris didn't realize at the time that James was likely suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and a host of undiagnosed injuries.
"When I was a kid, I didn't know much about my dad's service because he didn't talk much about it," Chris says. He held on to a lot of "bitterness and resentment" as a result of his father's actions, but after a number of years, he was able to "let it go."
When James had a stroke in 2015, his recovery was complicated by dementia. In order to provide full-time care for his father, Chris retired from his beloved job as an NYPD sergeant.
As a result, Chris says that they are able to build the "relationship they never had" and "make up for time lost."
Deepening relationships
Ilihia Gionson, who lives in Hawaii, cares for his father, Anthony, an Army veteran who served in Vietnam.
Anthony was drafted right out of high school. "It wasn't his choice to serve," Ilihia says. "It shaped so much of his life after that."
Ilihia considers caring for veterans as "a way to serve" our country. And it deepened his relationship with his father, as well.
"In the course of caring for him, I understood more about what he went through, Ilihia says.
Transcending gender roles
Shawn Lopez, who lives in Maryland, put his geology career on hold to care for his father Carlos, a career Navy vet.
"Caregivers are more than just wives," Sean says. "They're husbands taking care of children, they're children taking care of parents, sons taking care of fathers. Caregiving is an activity that transcends gender roles."
Shining a light
"This organization, Hidden Heroes, means so much to me," Savannah says. Because many people are unaware of caregivers who serve "in the shadows," she is thrilled to help this organization shine a light on their contributions.
The act of caregiving is a "total act of sacrifice," Savannah says. And these men feel "so honored and privileged to do it even though it's the hardest work you could imagine."
