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Alicia Keys filed trademark for ‘Alicia Teas.’ Here’s a list of tea names she should use

Lovin’ you, Darjeeling, makes me so confused.
Alicia Keys
This ... Earl ... is on fiiiiiiire.Getty Images
/ Source: TODAY

“Some people want it all/ But I don’t want nothing at all/ If it ain’t brew, baby/ If I ain’t got brew, baby.”

Singer, songwriter, pianist and now ... tea maker? Alicia Keys seems to be brewing up something big. On Sept. 18, her company, AK Worldwide, filed a trademark application for “Alicia Teas.”

According to the documents, obtained by and first reported on by TMZ, the application is waiting to be assigned to an attorney. An application to trademark “Alicia Teas” was also filed in October 2019 and was assigned to an examiner as of this past March.

Keys’ devotion to the drink is well documented.

After hosting the Grammy Awards for her second year in a row and celebrating her birthday in January 2020, her husband, Swizz Beatz, honored both occasions by gifting her with her very own tea line called — you guessed it — “Alicia Teas.”

“Everybody in Starbucks all around the world will gonna see Alicia Teas,” he said in a video that has since been deleted. “Happy birthday, baby. Love you.” reached out to Keys’ reps for comment.

Now, as someone with a passion for puns, not only am I delighted by the name of this tea line, I am also excited by the tea-naming possibilities. And because Keys has gifted the world with so many belt-out-worthy bangers — especially “A Woman’s Worth,” which was my ringtone in middle school — I am offering her a list of potential tea names to either take or leave:

  • “My Boolong”
  • “This Earl is on Fire”
  • “If Chai Ain’t Got You”
  • “Empire State of Mint” or “Em-pu’erh State of Mind”
  • “Greenage Love Affair”
  • “Lovin’ You, Darjeeling, Makes Me So Confused”
  • “Su-pu’erh-woman”
  • “I Just Wanna Rock You, All Night Oolong”
  • “Three Dozen Rosehips”
  • “Karmamile”

Next up: a honey brand called “Alicia Bees,” a cheese company called “Alicia Cheese,” a frozen vegetable line called “Alicia Peas,” a ski brand called “Alicia Skis,” an ice cream line called “Alicia Freeze,” and a cannabis company called “Alicia Trees.”