"The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are both rose-filled reality TV love quests, but the shows aren't exactly the same — at least when it comes down to one very intimate element.
Fantasy Suite dates — like the ones current "Bachelorette" star JoJo Fletcher just went on — often include real romantic moments. But while no one seems to raise an eyebrow over a Bachelor's decision to enjoy some private time with a contestant or two, the same can't be said when a Bachelorette makes that call.
That was the hard lesson Andi Dorfman learned when she was dubbed a "slut" after it was revealed she'd been intimate with runner-up Nick Viall on their Fantasy Suite date, as well as winner Josh Murray during their date, in Season 10. Now she's speaking out about that undeniable double standard.
"After that aired, I saw clips of national news anchors on TV calling me a slut. Verbatim. On live national television, calling me a slut," Dorfman recalled in a guest column for The Hollywood Reporter. "You never see them say that about the Bachelor. Almost every Bachelor has sex with everyone he goes into the fantasy suites with. Obviously there are some exceptions, but regardless, you never hear anything of it."
Whereas she still hasn't heard the end of it.
"And yet we as a society will go so far as to call a woman a slut for having sex with two men that she’s been dating," she continued. "Two men whose families she’s met, who have professed their love to her and two men she has feelings for. And, somehow, having sex with them becomes grounds to call her a slut. Why? Because of the number of men? Because it appears like they happened one after another? "
To that last point, Dorfman offered a bit of clarification for confused viewers and would-be judges: "What people likely don’t realize is that the Fantasy Suites are stretched out over a two-week time span. It does come in one quick episode, but this isn’t back-to-back like viewers see."
But that part really isn't the point, not when the men get a pass and the women don't — which is why Dorfman is speaking out and standing up for herself.
"I said in my book ('It's Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After'): I was a 27-year-old woman, I liked two guys that I was in relationships with and I was doing what I felt was right and what I still feel, to this day, was right. I did, what most other women — and certainly most men — in my position would have done. When I came to that conclusion I realized that I could sleep at night just fine, and that’s all that mattered."
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