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Ex-'Bachelorette' Andi Dorfman slams Fantasy Suite 'double standard'

"The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are both rose-filled reality TV love quests, but the shows aren't exactly the same — at least when it comes down to one very intimate element.
/ Source: TODAY

"The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are both rose-filled reality TV love quests, but the shows aren't exactly the same — at least when it comes down to one very intimate element.

Fantasy Suite dates — like the ones current "Bachelorette" star JoJo Fletcher just went on — often include real romantic moments. But while no one seems to raise an eyebrow over a Bachelor's decision to enjoy some private time with a contestant or two, the same can't be said when a Bachelorette makes that call.

THE BACHELORETTE - \"Episode 1010\" --Season Finale - After surviving shocking twists and turns and a journey filled with laughter, tears and love, Andi narrowed down the 25 bachelors to two fabulous guys - Josh and Nick. Josh is the type of man Andi has always dated in the past - handsome, athletic and playful - but Andi is plagued with a nagging doubt that he may be too good to be true. Her relationship with Nick is undeniably passionate and filled with an intensity she has never known, but she worries that it may be overwhelming. In this week's dramatic conclusion, Andi is absolutely torn between the two men and can envision a future with both, but time is running out, on the Season Finale of \"The Bachelorette,\" airing MONDAY, JULY 28 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network.Javier Pesquera / ABC

That was the hard lesson Andi Dorfman learned when she was dubbed a "slut" after it was revealed she'd been intimate with runner-up Nick Viall on their Fantasy Suite date, as well as winner Josh Murray during their date, in Season 10. Now she's speaking out about that undeniable double standard.

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"After that aired, I saw clips of national news anchors on TV calling me a slut. Verbatim. On live national television, calling me a slut," Dorfman recalled in a guest column for The Hollywood Reporter. "You never see them say that about the Bachelor. Almost every Bachelor has sex with everyone he goes into the fantasy suites with. Obviously there are some exceptions, but regardless, you never hear anything of it."

Whereas she still hasn't heard the end of it.

Andi Dorfman appears on Amazon's Style Code Live on May 26, 2016 in New York City.Craig Barritt / Getty Images for Amazon

"And yet we as a society will go so far as to call a woman a slut for having sex with two men that she’s been dating," she continued. "Two men whose families she’s met, who have professed their love to her and two men she has feelings for. And, somehow, having sex with them becomes grounds to call her a slut. Why? Because of the number of men? Because it appears like they happened one after another? "

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To that last point, Dorfman offered a bit of clarification for confused viewers and would-be judges: "What people likely don’t realize is that the Fantasy Suites are stretched out over a two-week time span. It does come in one quick episode, but this isn’t back-to-back like viewers see."

But that part really isn't the point, not when the men get a pass and the women don't — which is why Dorfman is speaking out and standing up for herself.

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"I said in my book ('It's Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After'): I was a 27-year-old woman, I liked two guys that I was in relationships with and I was doing what I felt was right and what I still feel, to this day, was right. I did, what most other women — and certainly most men — in my position would have done. When I came to that conclusion I realized that I could sleep at night just fine, and that’s all that mattered."

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