As host of popular radio and television programs, Wendy Williams is well versed and dispensing hard-hitting, practical advice to those in need of ridding their lives of pesky drama. In "Ask Wendy," Williams continues her campaign of straight talk. Here's an excerpt.
Introduction
Go on . . . ask me anything. That’s what people have been doing for twenty-five years on the radio and on my TV talk show. “Ask Wendy” has become more than just a popular advice segment . . . it’s become my calling card. Wherever I go, aside from the usual “How you doin’? You’re so much prettier/thinner in person!” I get served up a question: “Wendy, my mother . . .” “Wendy, my boyfriend . . .” “Wendy, what would you do . . .” I always say I’m just a woman from New Jersey who is looking at the front door of fifty. I have no fancy degree to qualify me as an expert on relationships. But what I do have is a load of baggage. There are many things in life I’ve done absolutely wrong that I am eager to cop to and hopefully help someone through my example. In my life, I’ve met so many people with interesting situations and I’ve seen people make some pretty stupid mistakes. I don’t need to be burned by the fire to know to stay away from it.
I’ve always thought “Ask Wendy” needed to be a book. There’s a lot of drama out there and only so much advice I can give in under three minutes. Often on the show, I don’t have the opportunity to get my full thought out before we have to go to commercial break. I continue talking to the person—but the public isn’t hearing it. What you hear is a sound bite, and often it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I want to go deeper. I want to really give someone who is confused, lost, or freaked out a solution they can use. I want to get to the heart of the issue: What’s really going on here?
So I was excited to sit down with some of your toughest problems and grapple with them. I also put out the word to my loyal audience: “Send me your hardest relationship questions!” The questions flooded in, questions ranging from Work Drama (“Help! My boss is a psycho!”) to Sex Drama (“My boyfriend bit me!”) to everything in between. I read each and every one of these letters and e-mails—some a dozen times over. Then I thought, “What would I do if I were in your shoes? What is the underlying issue here? What are the repercussions?”
If you ask my opinion, I’m going to give it to you straight, no chaser. Each relationship you handle differently: How you handle your boyfriend is not how you handle your father. What you say to your best girlfriend you might never tell your mom. Which is why I organized my advice into chapters based on where the drama is coming from. That way, when an issue arises with your boss at work or your husband at home, you know what page to turn to. People have felt comfy telling me their drama for many years, and the older I get, the more drama I seem to attract! There’s something about me that puts people at ease to show their crazy.
But I have faith in people; I believe you have the power to solve your own problems. You just need a kick in the butt. If you haven’t figured it out already, I am all about getting your shit together. I don’t believe that any situation is hopeless. As long as you’ve got a breath in your body and a brain in your head, you can move forward and fix things.
Every life has drama. If someone tells you their relationships are drama-free, they are full of it. I find that love them as we might, not everyone in our lives wishes the best for us. Some people like the drama; they love your mess and they feed off your misery. It’s these folks you need to steer clear of. Not sure who they are? I am. I can smell ’em a mile away. I’ll teach you how to weed out the toxic types, sort the friends from the frenemies, and keep the family ties from choking you. I want you to be proactive. Don’t wait till drama rings your doorbell. Read this book, see what’s out there, and be prepared to handle it.
I’d like you to walk away wiser. I’d like you to get a laugh out of some of the crazy shit people deal with (“My husband has a flatulence problem . . .”; “My boyfriend told my mom I’m great in bed . . .”). I’d like you to feel empowered to find your own answers and smooth out the bumps in your life. Sometimes I think you know the answer before you ask the question—you just need someone to verbalize what’s already in your heart and head. That would be me—and I am happy to take on that role.
So ask away . . .
Wendy Williams
From the book ASK WENDY by Wendy Williams. Copyright (c) 2013 by Wendy Williams. Reprinted by permission of William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.