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Your new squeeze recently got out of a relationship. Here are eight signs your date is not over his ex.
He talks about his ex too much. Every time you see him, he mentions his ex a handful of times. Whether he's waxing poetic about the good times, bashing her character or just dropping casual mentions like, "Oh, you like chai lattes, too? My ex thought the ones at this coffee shop were pretty great. Tell me what you think," too much ex talk can indicate that she's still on his mind—all the time.
He never mentions his ex. Ever. To totally deny that a once-important person in his life ever existed is almost as large a red flag as would be constantly talking about her. Maybe he feels guilty for thinking about her. Maybe he's trying to forget. If someone is really over their ex, they should be able to talk about the relationship when sharing their life story with you.
He's keeping tabs on his ex online. If your date is still invested in what the ex is doing, he's not over her. Related: Your new girlfriend is bummed that her ex is now in a relationship even though she is, too.
There's too much contact with the ex. They still call, text or email each other regularly, with your date seeming more invested in an old relationship than the new one. If she's still his emergency contact number, dog walker and snow-shoveler, neither is ready to move on.
The mementos of their relationship are still on display. When you visit your significant other's house, photos and trinkets from the last relationship are still in plain site—and there are no real plans to return her stuff, either.
When it comes to your relationship, he's on-again, off-again. When someone isn't over a past relationship, it can be hard to commit to a new one.
He wasted no time jumping into a relationship with you. Worse: Your relationship started before his last one officially ended.
Intuition. You just know. If you're uncomfortable with the role the ex plays in your date's life, there's likely a good reason. Ask him about it directly and communicate that you're willing to back off and give him the space he needs before he's ready to start dating someone new.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.