Parents

Glennon Doyle has a trick for keeping her mouth shut at kids' soccer games

Watching kids' sporting events from the sidelines can be frustrating — but author Glennon Doyle and her wife, Olympic athlete Abby Wambach, have found a creative way to sugar-coat their feelings while they watch their kids play soccer.

In a funny Instagram post, Doyle shared that she and Wambach have started bringing lollipops to games as a way to keep their mouths shut when they are tempted to yell from their chairs.

Soccer Mom 101: 1. When your kid’s game begins: sit down. Get cozy. Look down and check your shirt carefully. 2. If your shirt says one of the following words: “Coach” Or “Referee” - feel free - throughout the game- to yell coachy or referee-ish things. If you do not see these words on your shirt: hush, mostly. 3. This will be surprisingly difficult. Especially if one of you is an Olympic Soccer Player and the other one of you is a Bat Shit Crazy Mama Bear Who Truly Believes that Every Ten Year Old Opponent Who Touches Her Daughter’s Jersey Intends To Kill Her Daughter Dead. 4. SO. Since you cannot be trusted: Bring lollipops. Put the pops in your loud obnoxious mouths as soon as you sit down on the sideline. Let the pops serve as a reminder to you that children are dropping out of sports in record numbers - largely because their parents are behaving like asshats on the sidelines in record numbers. Because Things, in general, are less fun to do when bigger people scream at you the entire time you do them. 5. So Let the kids play. Let the coaches coach. Let the refs ref. You parent- which means yell nothing but yay and good hustle and you got this and good idea and maybe the occasional offside! These seem to be soccer evergreen safe things to yell. 5. Bring lollipops for all the other soccer parents. They’ll think you’re sweet but you’re really just quite tricky and wise and forever on the kids’ side. 6. OFFSIDE!!!!!!! #soccermoms

A post shared by Glennon Doyle (@glennondoyle) on

"When your kid’s game begins, sit down and get cozy," Doyle wrote in the post, recommending that parents check their shirt to see if the words "coach" or "referee" appear there before the game begins. "If you do not see these words on your shirt: hush, mostly."

Considering that Wambach is a two-time gold-medalist and holds a world record for soccer goals scored, this self-discipline is especially impressive.

But Doyle's point is bigger than just keeping noise levels down. Doyle sees parental meddling as deterring kids from enjoying sports.

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"Since you cannot be trusted: Bring lollipops," the author of "Love Warrior" and founder of Momastery wrote. "Put the pops in your loud obnoxious mouths as soon as you sit down on the sideline. Let the pops serve as a reminder to you that children are dropping out of sports in record numbers — largely because their parents are behaving like asshats on the sidelines in record numbers."

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