Dr. Jenny Radesky has spent her career researching how kids use media and technology. And there's one popular rule she doesn't believe every parent needs to follow.
When her teenager got a new phone, she didn't set time limits on it.
"I focus on quality," she tells TODAY.com, "rather than the overall amount of time."
What are time limits?
Time limits are a common tool many parents use to control how much time kids spend on their phones. But instead of limiting how long her teen uses his phone, Radesky limits how he uses the phone.
"I'm setting boundaries: (for example) not in his room. Not at night. Not at the dinner table. Get your homework done first," she explains.
Radesky is a researcher, professor and head of developmental and behavioral pediatrics for the University of Michigan Medical School. Her lab — yes, it's called the Radesky lab — studies "the intersection between kids' minds, family relationships, and the ever-changing digital world." She was the primary author of a groundbreaking study of kids' phone usage for Common Sense Media. She's co-director of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health.
In other words, she knows her stuff. And she has a 10-year-old and a 14-year-old, so she's also living it.
How much time should kids spend on phones?
Radesky knows that parents just want a number: How long is OK for teens to be on their phones? Her research found that teens spend an average of four hours a day on their phones — sounds like a lot, right?
It's not that simple, Radesky says.
"Those four hours could be filled with something very educational and positive and affirming for that child, or it could be only two hours filled with something toxic and rude or hateful or upsetting," she says. "So the more important question is, what is the activity the child is doing?"
She says it's important for parents to figure out what the time on phones or social media is displacing. If a child is watching funny TikTok videos and sharing them with friends instead of watching hours of TV, maybe that's not so bad. If they're glued to their phones instead of doing sports or reading or socializing, maybe that's a problem.
"If you only focus on time, you're missing all that really important stuff underneath," Radesky says.
Sometimes a lot of phone or social media use can be a warning sign of stress in teens — an escape, Radesky says. Parents need to heed that warning, not just block the escape route.
"Your child may get frustrated and try to sneak the phone try to disable your parental controls. If you Google 'disable parental controls,' you can find it in a minute. So an over-focus just on time can backfire," she warns.
What can parents do to protect their teens?
If time limits aren't the answer, what is?
Radesky suggests looking at other ways to measure whether your teen's phone and social media habits are healthy.
For example: Are they getting enough sleep? Are they exercising? Are they getting their homework done?
Other things are a little tougher to measure but still important, Radesky says, like noticing if a teen is overly distracted by their phone. Are they being disrespectful by not paying attention in conversations? Are they putting the phone away when they need to?
The best scenario, Radesky says, is when teens can identify the problems themselves and come up with solutions. For example, they might recognize the phone is keeping them up too late at night so they put it in another room when they go to bed.
In Radesky's family, her teen recently recognized that he was losing hours to mindlessly watching YouTube videos — he'd intend to just watch one specific video and then get sucked in to it. So, his parents put a one-hour time limit on YouTube for him.
Solutions are individual, not one-size-fits-all, Radesky says: "Bring older kids into the conversation so that the limit being set is meeting their needs and goals, and they have more buy-in."
It's parents' job to teach teens how to regulate their own media consumption; and even as kids get more independent, Radesky says, parents play an important role.
"You can be the voice inside your child's head," Radesky says. "When they have their own phone and they're off on their own and they don't have you by their side, you've already laid the groundwork for them to be smart about their decision-making."
