Okay moms, let's admit it, when you're home alone with young kids all day, sometimes you start acting like no one can see you. Maybe you whip your bra off and leave it on the kitchen counter when it gets uncomfortable. Maybe you pick your nose, because no (adults) are looking. The bathroom door gets left open and discretion around other bodily functions goes out the window (which may be good, otherwise the house could get a little stinky...). Perhaps we got in the habit of some of these things when they were babies and we forgot to revert back to our more civilized ways as they got older. After reading an article about some of the secret behavior singletons exhibit around the house, one mom realized that she also has secret behavior, except that it's not so secret -- she has a young audience, taking it all in. Do you ever find yourself doing gross stuff in front of your kids that you'd never do in front of an adult?
Kids fail math, pass hilarity with flying colors
There are the tests your kids bring home that make you proud. Then, there are the tests your kids bring home that make you laugh. A new collection of epic exam fails is making the rounds. First, you've got the girl who professes her love for "hores" because "hores" can put their legs straight up in the air and notes that her dad wants a "hore" but her mom doesn't (and who can blame that mom for not wanting a horse). Then, you've got the kid who, when asked to name a complimentary angle, had one angle telling the other that it looked much thinner from over here... Or, did you know that Saturn has rings because God loves it, so he put a ring on it? Note, we highly recommend you void your bladder before reading these, otherwise TODAY Moms cannot be responsible for you peeing your pants at the office.
One Million Moms moves on to Riverdale
In the battle of One Million Moms versus Ellen DeGeneres & JCPenney, Ellen had the last laugh. Of course, that's to be expected since she's a comedian. JCP kept their funny spokesperson and the moms had to find someone else to go after. Now the conservative group is targeting Toys 'R' Us for selling the Archie Comics issue where an openly gay character gets married. These mad moms are upset that the comics are sold at check stands, where they're highly visible to kids. The moms worry that a trip to the toy store will inadvertently turn into an unwanted sex ed lesson. While the famous purveyor of toys and backward r's has kept mum on the issue, Archie Comics CEO has stated that "Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone."
Married moms -- are single moms the enemy?
Do married moms need to worry about their husbands around unwed women with kids? One dad took his young daughter skiing for the weekend while his wife was on a girls' getaway in Vegas. There was only one other kid at the ski camp and the youngsters hit it off. The foursome skied and lunched together. Plans were made for another get-together at a later date. But, when his working wife got back from Vegas, she wasn't happy to learn about her husband's new gal pal. In turn, this work-at-home dad was none too pleased about his wife's reaction, especially since she'd been in Vegas of all places. Of course skiing's full of slopes, but are they slippery ones straight into adultery? While some ask the dad to be honest about his motivations for this budding friendship, others suspect that of course a single mom would be hoping to hook up with his rope tow. A long time ago Harry asked Sally if men and women could really be friends. Today, we're asking if married men and single moms can really be friends. Or, does the sex part always get in the way?
Kids, put down the crayons and nobody gets hurt
Parents, you best hope your kids don't take artistic license with your home life in their drawings at school. One dad in Canada was hauled off to jail and strip-searched after his four-year-old daughter drew a picture of a man holding a gun. She told her kindergarten teacher the man was her dad and said he uses the gun to shoot bad guys and monsters. Where some might see a creative youngster with an active imagination, others saw a dad who needed to be hauled downtown. When this law-abiding father, who doesn't even own a gun, picked his daughter up from school that day, he found the cops waiting for him. All three of his kids were brought in for questioning by Family Services as well. He was never charged with anything, but now many are charging the police and other authorities with a massive case of over-reaction.
It's a boy!
Jen and Ben (Garner and Affleck, of course) have just added a baby boy to their brood. We couldn't be happier for the adorable couple or more amazed that they already released the little guy's name and that it's downright normal. In a town full of Apples, Jets and Blues, this little guy will stand out with a straight-up traditional name, Samuel Garner Affleck. Do you think it's refreshing that they gave him a name we all recognize as a proper noun or do you like some of the more innovative names Hollywood-types seem to go for?
Dana Macario is a TODAY Moms contributor and Seattle mom to two sleep-depriving toddlers. Once properly caffeinated, she also blogs at www.18years2life.com.