“Vanderpump Rules” alum Kristen Doute, 40, talked about going through a miscarriage in real time in a heartbreakingly honest episode of her "Sex, Love, and What Else Matters" podcast.
"The only way I know how to start is to say that four weeks ago on the podcast, we were full of s---," said Doute.
Doute's boyfriend Luke Broderick jumped in to add, "We announced that we were trying to get pregnant, and that was actually the day that we got a positive pregnancy test. We just didn't want to get ahead of ourselves and announce that we were pregnant."
The couple was so thrilled by the news that they didn't know how not to tip their hand when they recorded the podcast that day, so they decided to announce that they were "trying" to conceive.
In reality, though, Doute said, she was "obsessed" with getting pregnant and had been testing her ovulation "every 13 seconds." Broderick suggested that she take a pregnancy test when her period was five days late. She took two digital pregnancy tests and both were positive.
"It was the best f------ day of my life and I was absolutely terrified," she said of getting pregnant so quickly.
Though she felt like she should have been calling everyone she knew, Doute said she "was just like in complete, utter shock. Like, I didn't know blue from green, like sky from the grass. I didn't know right from left. What in the actual hell is happening because I didn't feel any different."
After they found out they were pregnant, Doute went to Colorado, where she experienced pregnancy symptoms like fatigue and breast tenderness. She thought, "This is kind of s----- on my body, and like pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to me."
When she left Colorado, Doute experienced some light bleeding. On their drive from Colorado to Arizona, Doute stopped to get lab work done to check her progesterone and HCG levels.
The HCG level was "good" but progesterone was "a little low," Broderick said. Doute's doctor prescribed progesterone to boost her levels.
At this point, the couple still hadn't had their first appointment with an obstetrician.
"It was very wild to me that you can find out that you're pregnant, and you don't really know how far along you are," Doute said. "So weeks and weeks and weeks later and you're just supposed to sit with yourself in your body and hope you can take care of this growing baby as best you can."
At around six weeks, Broderick said they received bad news at an ultrasound: "We find out that Kristen's pregnancy is not a viable pregnancy; it's considered a blighted ovum and there is no embryo in the sac that's forming."
Doute had three options: she could have the sac surgically removed, wait until her body naturally rejects the sac or take medication to encourage the sac to pass out of her body. At the time of the podcast recording, she had yet to make her decision.
Doute shared that this is not the first time that she has been pregnant, mentioning that she had an abortion 20 years ago.
"I only feel comfortable talking about this because I know so many friends of mine have gone through this," Doute said. "It's really f------ terrifying because you always think, what's wrong? What did I do wrong? Could I have done something different?"
Doute tried to lightheartedly describe her thought processes around overanalyzing every moment of her pregnancy, but then gave up and said, "I'm trying to be funny. It's not working."
Doute and Broderick were also very honest with each other on the podcast.
"I can't imagine what it's like for you," Doute told Broderick. "I know you're not in my body and I know you don't know what I feel like, but I also don't know what you feel like."
Broderick replied, "I just know that I've got to be your rock here. And I want to I want to be there with you, for you."
With a waver in her voice, Doute said, "I think this was just a really unfortunate thing that happened to us, and it's just God's plan, man. I know that we can try fairly soon. And I think we're very hopeful to have a very healthy pregnancy next time."
