By Sean Fallon
Obviously, most of us don't need much of an incentive to eat, but if you have kids who are picky eaters, it might help to make mealtime more fun. The following products will help you do that — well, most of the products will. I'm not going to pretend that a knockwurst-controlled pair of lederhosen has any practical value.
Darth Vader toaster
As a leader, Darth Vader had his flaws. However, he did excel in two areas: generating jobs with large public works projects and supplying his subordinates with a balanced breakfast. Of course, the benefits of toasters that could burn his image into bread was two-fold — it was healthy, but he also used it as a tool for psychological control. Without Lord Vader, there would be no toast. He used similar tactics with pancake molds and sandwich cutters, though the latter are shaped like fighting ships to reinforce battle readiness. Crustless sandwiches are for the weak. $54.99 — Star Wars Shop via Nerd Approved
The BBQ Sword
The way I see it, grilling is a battle to be won or lost. It's you versus the meat and the flames. To win, you'll need the right weapon — and that weapon is the BBQ Sword Spatula. Thanks to the sure grip and hilt, you'll be able to flip with ease while keeping your hand protected from any grease that those tricky burgers might throw at you. It even comes with a Musketeer mask so you can hide your identity. Unfortunately, you put fish on there and it's sticking to the grill. You try to scrape it but it just falls apart into the flame. Touche meat …touche. $27.95 — Neatoshop via Nerd Approved
Bacon bubble shooter
Here's a fun food toy that you and your kids can use to play with the family dog. It's called the Bacon Bubble Buddy, and it shoots out bacon-flavored bubbles when you pull the trigger. Your dogs will go crazy for it — just don't be surprised when you find Dad hiding down in the basement shooting these bubbles directly into his mouth with tears streaming down his face. $15.99 — ThinkGeek via That's Nerdalicious
Other craziness from Nerd Approved:
- 10 Insane Cooking Gadgets
- The Dipr Spoon Changes Cookie Dunking Forever
- Things That Shouldn't Taste Like Bacon, But Do
- Star Wars Lightsaber Chopsticks
- Tiger Blood Energy Drink Taste Test
Dairy Queen Blizzard Maker
You would probably be far better off buying a regular ice cream maker, but it would be fun to make your own Dairy Queen Blizzards at home then top them off with all kinds of crazy treats. And when you see Dad with his Bacon Bubble, still crying, shooting bubbles on top of his Blizzard — surprise him with an actual bacon bit topping. $24.99 — ToysRUs via That's Nerdalicious
Condiment Gun
When a family picnic deteriorates into an all out food fight, you'll want to have the most advanced arsenal of weaponry. I suggest loading up a Condiment Gun with some ketchup and mustard then use it to decimate your opponents. When dessert rolls around, that's when you bust out the Marshmallow Shooter. $20 — Amazon
Drumstick chopsticks
Chopsticks on one side, drumsticks on the other. I can't fathom a situation where this product could end up being annoying at the dinner table. On the plus side, users can follow up all of their off-color jokes with well-timed rimshots. No, this won't be annoying at all. $8.99 — Perpetual Kid
Jet Bib
Here comes the airplane! It's full of yummy strained peas! Yeah, babies aren't falling for that — you really need to sell it with the Jet Bib. It features an airplane-shaped spoon and a runway bib with flashing LED lights that turn on whenever the baby moves. Now you can bring that spoon and its unsavory cargo in for a smooth landing. $24.99 — ThinkGeek
Other craziness from Nerd Approved:
- 10 Insane Cooking Gadgets
- The Dipr Spoon Changes Cookie Dunking Forever
- Things That Shouldn't Taste Like Bacon, But Do
- Star Wars Lightsaber Chopsticks
- Tiger Blood Energy Drink Taste Test
Construction Cutlery
When a major construction project is going on around my neighborhood, big equipment moves in and pushes a bunch of dirt around. After a few weeks you drive by and notice that dirt is still there, only now it's in a different place, or in a bigger pile. Not much gets built in the beginning, but a lot of earth gets moved about. That's what I imagine would happen with this construction cutlery. The mashed potatoes get pushed to one side of the plate, then the other. Then it's moved into a really big pile with peas on top. Unfortunately, the foreman in this situation didn't properly secure the pile, so an avalanche of peas, potatoes and gravy rain down the mountain and onto the floor instead of being eaten. Tragic. $32 per set — Flying Peas
Skull-shaped cupcake molds
Kids won't eat the food you put in front of them, but when you give them cupcakes shaped like brains they become Hannibal Lecter all of a sudden. We are talking about sweets here, but I wonder if this would work with other food. Maybe if you presented their vegetables inside of this mold they would be more likely to eat them. Of course, if you were successful that might be more concerning than if the child is just a picky eater. $7.99 — Perpetual Kid via That's Nerdalicious
Remote-Controlled Lederhosen
I consider this to the most absurd food-related product ever conceived of by man. It's a pair of Bavarian trousers that hops around and yodels when activated by a remote control shaped like a plastic knockwurst. I'll let that sink in for a moment. OK, now that you've wrapped your mind around this, I think you'll agree that this product isn't edible or practical in the slightest. But it is hilarious. $19.95 — Danna Bananas via Nerd Approved
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