"Baby Reindeer" is sparking a nuanced conversation about mental health.
The hit Netflix series tells the tale of struggling comedian Donny Dunn (Richard Gadd) and his stalker, Martha (Jessica Gunning), but it's not your typical stalker story.
Creator Gadd, who based the story off his real experiences, told Netflix's Tudum he deliberately tried to break from previous pop culture depictions of stalking.
“Stalking on television tends to be very sexed-up. It has a mystique. It’s somebody in a dark alley way. It’s somebody who’s really sexy, who’s very normal, but then they go strange bit by bit,” Gadd explains. “But stalking is a mental illness. I really wanted to show the layers of stalking with a human quality I hadn’t seen on television before. It’s a stalker story turned on its head. It takes a trope and turns it on its head.”
Over the course of seven episodes, the series takes viewers on an intense psychological journey, all the while unpacking Martha's unhealthy obsession with Donny and the role he plays encouraging her.
“This is one of the most realistic and accurate portrayals of trauma that I have seen on television," San Francisco therapist Avigail Lev, Psy.D., tells TODAY.com, calling the story "nuanced and accurate."
Below, Lev analyzes the mental challenges both characters exhibit in the series.
How would a therapist diagnose Martha?
After watching "Baby Reindeer," Lev says she would diagnose the fictional Martha with two conditions: erotomania and borderline personality disorder.
Lev describes erotomania as a "type of delusional disorder where the person believes that another person, often someone of higher status or a public figure, is in love with them."
Even when the person with erotomania is presented with evidence to the contrary, their belief remains. For instance, Donny tells Martha he's only her friend on several occasions at the beginning of the series, yet she continues to believe he's romantically interested in her.
"Erotomania can manifest in various behaviors, such as obsessive actions, stalking, and writing letters or messages to the person they believe is in love with them," Lev explains.
The therapist says erotomania more often occurs in women than men and is often found in "individuals who are isolated or have limited personal relationships."
Per Lev, Martha also exhibits signs of borderline personality disorder.
"She is not only obsessed with Donny in a positive way, but her behavior towards him also includes splitting — idealizing him at one moment and devaluing him the next," she says. "This black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking allows her to swing from adoration to hostility very quickly, a hallmark of borderline personality disorder."
Martha's inability to manage her emotions and impulses is another telltale sign of borderline personality disorder.
"Given that she confesses to her crimes at the end of the show, it is evident she does not suffer from a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia, since she retains some grasp on reality," Lev says. "Therefore, it’s more likely to be a personality disorder or delusional disorder, characterized by false beliefs but not necessarily hallucinations or a complete detachment from reality. The driving force behind Martha’s behavior is delusions, or false beliefs combined with emotional dysregulation."
How would a therapist diagnose Donny?
Lev says Donny's diagnosis isn't quite as clear cut as Martha's.
Throughout the series, Donny struggles with his confidence and sexual identity after being raped by a former mentor.
“Donny’s behaviors, which seem complicit, are a response to his trauma. The depiction of a trauma survivor in the show is remarkably realistic. Often, those who have been abused, raped or exploited reenact their trauma and place themselves in perilous situations as a way to regain some sense of control,” Lev explains.
When Martha comes along, Donny is in a very fragile place, "easily manipulated" and "unable to discern safe from dangerous individuals."
Lev suspects that Donny has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), "considering his ongoing reactions to traumatic events in his life."
She also brings up Stockholm syndrome when speaking about Donny, a "psychological response where hostages or abuse victims develop a bond with their captors or abusers."
People who develop this condition have sympathy or affection for their perpetrator as part of their survival strategy. At times during the show, Donny does seem to be fond of or entertained by Martha, and he certainly exhibits sympathy for her.
Donny could also be trauma bonding with Martha, which occurs when a victim feels "increasingly worthless and ashamed due to the abuser’s actions" and "becomes dependent on their abuser to alleviate the suffering they cause."
"This cycle is challenging to break and is vividly portrayed in the show, a frequent occurrence among victims of narcissistic abuse," Lev notes. "When a victim is trauma bonded to their perpetrator, they become dependent on them to soothe the pain the abuser caused. It’s a very deep psychological addiction where the more the victim is abused, the more dependent they become on their abuser, and that is the cycle of trauma bonding."
If you meet someone like Martha, how should you handle the situation?
Most of us aren't well equipped to deal with the mental complexities that come along with these psychological conditions. However, Lev has a few tips for navigating a stalker.
- Ignore the abuser completely if you can.
- Gather evidence: Record videos and audio, and maintain a paper trail.
- Inform the stalker through written communication that their behavior won't be tolerated, and outline consequences, including contacting the authorities and obtaining a restraining order.
The final step you should take is one of the most critical, Lev says.
"Following this, it is essential to completely disengage, adopting methods like the 'gray rock' technique, which involves being as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible to minimize interaction," Lev says.