Pizza is a contentious subject on the internet these days. There is always the great pineapple-on-pizza debate (on which star chef Gordon Ramsay has made his stance quite clear), but now people are putting mayo and peas and even Peeps on their pizza — and the internet is not having it.
In the latest crime against pizza, a person was caught (and then posted on Imgur) holding a couple of pies like this:
"I think I'm witnessing a drug deal. I mean who the hell carries their pizza like that?" wrote the poster.
The poster, SoundGuyJake, confirmed in the photo's comments that the pizza was from a Canadian pizza chain called Pizza Pizza (possibly the inspiration for Little Caesar's earwormy catchphrase?).
Commenters were in disbelief. How could someone do that to a precious pizza pie? When opened, would it just be a naked pizza, stripped of all its saucy, cheesy goodness?
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Some were trying their hardest to have faith in the person carrying it that way. Could it be a frozen pizza? Calzones? Breadsticks? Anything else that would make it OK to hold it that way?!
But no, unfortunately, "Pizza Pizza doesn't sell frozen pizza," the poster responded. "They use different boxes for calzones." And as for the breadsticks: "I suppose, I mean I just learned in this thread that they even sell bread sticks, but that seems like an awful lot of bread sticks, with seemingly nothing else, you know?" he asked.
Naturally, the image made its way to Twitter — and people responded with a wide range of emotions:
Some were shocked, rendered completely speechless:
Some imagined the type of person attached to that arm:
Some imagined what the pizza would look like on the inside of that box:
Some were not angry — just truly, deeply, profoundly upset:
And some offered interesting hypotheses on which we're hanging all of our hopes:
Let us hope it is anything but what we think it is. Anything.