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Shear madness: Hairstyle dos and don'ts for alpacas

If you’re an alpaca, you know how it is: You’re standing around, grazing and minding your own business, and all of a sudden some human comes along and shears off your fur so they can turn it into sweaters, coats and socks.The experience is always a jarring one — but you know what? It provides an opportunity to a) exude confidence and b) LOOK STYLISH.For inspiration, just look to the stylin��
A WIN: Going gray? Then follow this alpaca's example: Don't hide it – own it! Just remember to work an anti-frizz through your fur with a wide-tooth comb.
A WIN: Going gray? Then follow this alpaca's example: Don't hide it – own it! Just remember to work an anti-frizz through your fur with a wide-tooth comb.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
A WIN: Reminiscent of both David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust phase and Richard Marx's locks in the 1980s, this look is a timeless classic. To attain it, be careful to shear with care near the neckline, and try a nice amplifying shampoo to enhance volume.
A WIN: Reminiscent of both David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust phase and Richard Marx's locks in the 1980s, this look is a timeless classic. To attain it, be careful to shear with care near the neckline, and try a nice amplifying shampoo to enhance volume.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today

If you’re an alpaca, you know how it is: You’re standing around, grazing and minding your own business, and all of a sudden some human comes along and shears off your fur so they can turn it into sweaters, coats and socks.

The experience is always a jarring one — but you know what? It provides an opportunity to a) exude confidence and b) LOOK STYLISH.

For inspiration, just look to the stylin’ alpacas pictured here. They live on a farm near Salzburg in Austria, and when humans Carina and Erwin Stadler shaved pounds and pounds of hair off their bodies last month, the animals seized the spotlight with their retro looks — many of which worked, and only a few of which fell a little flat. Keep scrolling to see more style wins and misses along with helpful tips for any alpaca, regardless of bone structure or fur tone.

A WIN: A faux-hawk never really goes out of style. To maintain this look in all kinds of weather, flip your head upside down before blow-drying, then mist with a light-hold hairspray.
A WIN: A faux-hawk never really goes out of style. To maintain this look in all kinds of weather, flip your head upside down before blow-drying, then mist with a light-hold hairspray.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
A MISS: This look does nothing to accentuate this alpaca's beautiful face. To make matters worse, too much fur near the mouth can ensnare un-chewed grass in an unsightly manner.
A MISS: This look does nothing to accentuate this alpaca's beautiful face. To make matters worse, too much fur near the mouth can ensnare un-chewed grass in an unsightly manner.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
A PARTIAL WIN: This alpaca pulls off a very short style with flair, but she's in desperate need of a rich conditioner and some shine glaze.
A PARTIAL WIN: This alpaca pulls off a very short style with flair, but she's in desperate need of a rich conditioner and some shine glaze.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
A WIN: Going gray? Then follow this alpaca's example: Don't hide it – own it! Just remember to work an anti-frizz through your fur with a wide-tooth comb.
A WIN: Going gray? Then follow this alpaca's example: Don't hide it – own it! Just remember to work an anti-frizz through your fur with a wide-tooth comb.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
A PARTIAL MISS: Tina Turner called. She wants her wig back. (Although actually, on second thought, Tina's signature style doesn't look too shabby on this alpaca.)
A PARTIAL MISS: Tina Turner called. She wants her wig back. (Although actually, on second thought, Tina's signature style doesn't look too shabby on this alpaca.)Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
HARD TO CALL: Sock puppets?!? No! Golf club covers?!? No! Well, we'll go ahead and give these alpacas a \"win\" for keeping their fur so fluffy and shiny – even though the situation brewing between them looks a little tense.
HARD TO CALL: Sock puppets?!? No! Golf club covers?!? No! Well, we'll go ahead and give these alpacas a \"win\" for keeping their fur so fluffy and shiny – even though the situation brewing between them looks a little tense.Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today
SUCCESS! Remember, style is all about functionality. Find the look that works best for you, and you can frolic through the fields without a care in the world!
SUCCESS! Remember, style is all about functionality. Find the look that works best for you, and you can frolic through the fields without a care in the world!Kerstin Joensson / AP / Today

Which alpaca do you think pulls its new sheared look off best of all? Tell us in the comments section!

TODAY.com writer Laura T. Coffey wants to stress to all fellow animal lovers out there that SHE’S TOTALLY KIDDING about using any of these products on actual alpacas. Here’s where to find Laura on Facebookand Twitter.


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