Money changes everything: Mary Alice introduces the episode by saying that no one needs to talk about money in the suburbs, because everyone can see who has it (Bree, Edie) and who doesn't (Lynette, Susan, Mike). Nearly every storyline revolves around money. In the end, Mary Alice notes that money can be used for many things, but not as a weapon because "too many people get hurt." It sort of contradicts the episode — in which it is used as a weapon — but her point is made: It shouldn’t be.
What's $20,000 between friends? When Bree finds out, thanks to gossipy Katherine, that Lynette and Tom are broke, she offers Lynette $20,000. Lynette accepts it as an “investment” in Scavo's, but then gets mad at everything Bree does. Because the way to treat someone who does you a huge favor is to act offended over every little thing. It ultimately leads to Lynette backing in to Bree's shiny, new Lexus (product placement alert!). Bree tells Lynette she doesn't want money to affect their friendship, but Lynette snottily says it's a little late for that. It’s annoyingly out of character for Lynette — who sweetly admitted her envy at Bree's success just a few episodes ago — to act this petty.
Basic training: Gaby and Carlos can afford fancy things again, so he’s taking her to The Palm for their anniversary. She can't quite squeeze into the dress she wore when he proposed, so she pressures Edie into recommending her for a hard-to-get-into “boot camp” exercise program. Needless to say, Gaby can’t hack the hard work, and wants to quit until Edie gives her a pep talk in which she tells her she actually is the old Gaby again: a selfish jerk. Gaby ends up looking stunning in her dress. But she’s not all the old Gaby, which we learn when she takes a moment to hug and thank her tailor.
We don’t need no (public) education: Susan enrolls M.J. into a prestigious private school, so he doesn’t have to stay in his crowded public school (the horror!). But Mike can't afford the tuition. He is, in fact, so broke that he bought Katherine fake pearls and pretended they were real. Susan, thinking they’re real, tries to steal them, which forces Mike to out himself as a fake-jewelry giver. It leads to a sweet kiss between Katherine and Mike, and leads Susan back to the school's headmaster, begging for a job and the 50 percent tuition cut that comes with it. He hires her as an art teacher's assistant, and she's thrilled. As are viewers; it will be nice to see Susan finally working instead of just moaning and complaining about everything.
Frenemies: Bob tells Lee that Dave was the only witness who placed Porter in the nightclub's back room on the night of the fire. Lee can't keep juicy gossip to himself, so he tells Tom, who promptly (and rightfully) punches Dave in the face. Dave makes excuses — drunkenness, pressure from the cops — but Tom's not buying it. He tries to punch him again, but Dave demonstrates his mad fighting skills by getting Tom all tied-up in a very effective hold of some sort. Dave lets Tom go, and insists they’re friends, but after the big reveal and the ninja fighting moves, Tom’s pretty sure he doesn’t know Dave at all. Finally, someone other than Mrs. McCluskey is showing some sense.
DeAnn Welker is a writer in Portland, Ore.