With his post-James Bond track record, maybe Pierce Brosnan should not be so quick to say goodbye to the super spy.
Brosnan, who has said he will not return for a fifth Bond flick, has delivered back-to-back duds this year with the romantic comedy “Laws of Attraction” and now the heist caper “After the Sunset.”
Like “Laws of Attraction,” “After the Sunset” is not exactly a bad movie. Just dull and droopy, its nebulous title appropriate for a movie that never quite defines itself as larcenous lark or shady thriller.
The wolf-and-sheepdog camaraderie between crook (Brosnan) and cop (Woody Harrelson) certainly is different, though not very believable or entertaining, especially given Harrelson’s over-the-top performance.
Brosnan, meanwhile, seems a bit bored by the whole thing. That’s fine early on, considering his character is a retired diamond thief who misses the action. Yet he remains wearily aloof even after he’s back on the job for one more score.
Director Brett Ratner had great commercial success with the mismatched-buddy comedy “Rush Hour” and its sequel, but he falls short with a less manic, more grown-up approach to the genre here.
One of the movie’s main assets — and it’s a decent one — is its lingering shots of co-star Salma Hayek’s amazing curves and cleavage.
Brosnan and Hayek are Max and Lola, a thieving couple living the good life on a tropical island seven years after their farewell score, a priceless diamond literally lifted out of the hands of FBI agent Stan Lloyd (Harrelson).
Disgraced and obsessed, Stan turns up at Max’s place convinced his nemesis is plotting to steal a companion diamond that just happens to be making a port call at the island during a cruise-ship tour.
Max insists to both Lola — who wants her man to stay retired — and Stan that he has no interest in swiping the jewel, though he clearly has the itch.
What follows is not so much a cat-and-mouse game as a strange-bedfellows farce, with Max and Stan fishing together, drinking together, slathering each other with sunblock — all the usual kinship rituals between good guy and bad guy.
The screenplay by Paul Zbyszewski and Craig Rosenberg tosses in some mild twists and turns, nothing that an experienced movie buff won’t see coming.
The writers aim for “Get Shorty”-like banter, but what passes for clever idiosyncrasy is Max barking “State your business” when he answers the phone or Stan dividing people into idlers who like to watch sunsets and doers who don’t have time.
“After the Sunset” thoroughly squanders Don Cheadle’s talent in a small role as a menacing gangster horning in on the action while babbling about free-love philosophy in the music of the Mamas and the Papas.
Also wasted is Naomie Harris, who was riveting in the zombie tale “28 Days Later,” here playing an island cop implausibly drawn in as Stan’s professional and romantic partner.
The filmmakers make reference to one of Hollywood’s bonniest jewel-heist adventures, Alfred Hitchcock’s “To Catch a Thief,” perhaps hoping the mere mention will rub off some of that film’s luster.
It only serves to remind viewers how dusky and dreary “After the Sunset” is by comparison.