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Tori Spelling: Why I'm an embarrassing mom

If you grew up watching Tori Spelling on "Beverly Hills, 90210," then the phrase "Donna Martin graduates!" may bring back memories.Spelling revisited those days on her blog last week with a photo of her son, all dressed up for his preschool graduation, with the caption "Liam McDermott graduates!"From TV angst to real-life milestones, this mama has come a long way. The actress and reality TV
Tori Spelling and husband actor Dean McDermott pose with their children (L-R) Liam, Stella and Hattie.
Tori Spelling and husband actor Dean McDermott pose with their children (L-R) Liam, Stella and Hattie.David Livingston / Getty Images / Today

If you grew up watching Tori Spelling on "Beverly Hills, 90210," then the phrase "Donna Martin graduates!" may bring back memories.

Tori Spelling and husband actor Dean McDermott pose with their children (L-R) Liam, Stella and Hattie.David Livingston / Getty Images / Today

Spelling revisited those days on her blog last week with a photo of her son, all dressed up for his preschool graduation, with the caption "Liam McDermott graduates!"

From TV angst to real-life milestones, this mama has come a long way. The actress and reality TV star has reinvented herself yet again with the show "Craft Wars," premiering tonight, a "Project Runway"-style crafting competition hosted by Spelling, who's something of a DIY diva herself. The mom of three, soon to be four, chatted with TODAY Moms about why we should all be making our own play dough, how she embarrassed herself at Liam's graduation, who in her family is rooting for another girl baby and how 90210 prepared her for mom-judging meanness (and no, it wasn't the high-waisted pants).

TODAY Moms: You’re expecting baby number four. Are you finding out the gender, or will it be a surprise?

Tori: It’s going to be a surprise. We figured after we had Liam (5) and Stella (4), we had one of each, we were just blessed with whatever we got. We totally speculated that Hattie (8 months) was a boy, the entire pregnancy. Honestly, when people say it’s the biggest surprise you can get, it really is. When the doctor brought her out and said, 'You guys were wrong, it’s a girl,' we were just like 'Oh my god!'

It was the most amazing surprise I could ever have in my entire life. When we happened to get pregnant again we were definitely  not finding out again.

TODAY Moms: Are Liam and Stella rooting one way or the other?

Tori: It’s funny, Liam, before Stella, always wanted a brother, and Stella wanted a sister. And now it’s switched! We’re like, what if it’s a boy and Stella says, good, I want a boy and Liam’s like, I think I’ll stick with all sisters. It’s so funny, he wanted a brother so bad and now he’s like, nah, I’m cool being the only dude.

TODAY Moms: The photo you posted of Liam at his preschool graduation was totally adorable and your post was really sweet. Were you just crying your eyes out?

Tori: It was embarrassing! I don’t think I cried so hard since I went to the theater and saw The Bodyguard, or maybe Titanic. It was uncontrollable sobbing, and I was like, this is SO embarrassing. I had to hold up my Kleenex because I was being so loud and I thought, oh, I’m THAT crier. I didn’t think it would be that emotional. I mean, I cry at everything, every little thing they do, I cry, so I knew I would cry. I had a tissue and everything. But I didn’t know how intense the feelings would be until I saw it.

TODAY Moms: So, here’s my confession. I am totally uncrafty. What would be a really easy, entry-level craft project that I could start off with?

Tori: First of all, I don’t believe you’re not crafty. Don’t put that on yourself, don’t limit yourself. With crafting, your limit is your creativity. It’s individual, you can’t go wrong.

I think it’s a really great thing to teach the kids, and I taught them just by doing it with them. I think a good thing to start with is making play dough -- they love it and it’s super-easy for you. You can go online and find any recipe for it. it’s easy and fun and it’s natural so if your 2-year-old did put it in his mouth it would be fine. You can play with peanut butter, you can use vanilla and then it’s scented. It’s just a fun thing, the kids loved making it and then using it, knowing that it didn’t just come out of the package. That was extra-special to them.

TODAY Moms: As a mom, you’ve gone from one to two kids, then two to three, and now you’ll be going from three to four. Is one transition harder than the other?

Tori: Anyone that says it’s easy is lying. It’s not easy. … I think the biggest shock was going from one to two. After that, people say it doesn’t matter, you throw in more in the mix – there’s some truth to that, but it never gets easy. There’s still more carseats, it’s still who has whose hand, and you just worry 'did I leave anyone?' because now there’s so many. One is such a breeze... It is an easier lifestyle just having one, because you can take them with you and go wherever, it’s just simple. When you have two, they argue, and it’s just a little more of everything. But, I wouldn’t change anything. The relationship that Liam and Stella have, this unbelievable bond, the built-in playmate as they get older -- it was such a great decision.

TODAY Moms: There seems to be an epidemic of mom judging going on, and especially if you’re in the public eye like you are, it seems really relentless. Does it bother you, and how do you deal with it?

Tori: I’ve been in the celebrity eye for so long, I’ve had so much speculation to deal with, I think I’m kind of numb to it at this point. When I say numb, it still bothers me, but it’s not as disheartening as it used to be.

I feel bad for other moms out there, maybe first-time moms going through it. Gosh, becoming a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding thing that anyone in this lifetime can do and for anyone to minimize that by commenting on their weight or commenting on what they’re wearing or what choices they’re making for their body and their child, I think it’s just completely wrong and it’s just horrifying for me to see it. When it happens to me, I’m like yeah yeah, whatever, bring it on, I have thick  skin at this point. After starting '90210' at age 16 and hearing the most horrific things written about me, I can probably take anything at this point. But seeing other moms going through it, it breaks my heart.

Tori Spelling's new show, Craft Wars, premieres Tuesday, June 26 at 10 ET/9 CT on TLC.

 

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