Real king of 'Thrones': Is Joffrey more like Justin Bieber or Kim Jong-un?
Joffrey Baratheon, the cruel boy king on "Game of Thrones," only exists in a fantasy world -- thank the gods!
But if he were real, which contemporary leader would he most resemble? Pundits have compared him to both North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and tween idol Justin Bieber (who only rules the pop charts now, but anything is possible in today's political landscape).
Here's how Joff ranks against today's top dawgs:
Power source: Like the North Korean leader, Joffrey Baratheon was born into his position, not because he earned it. Bieber, on the other hand, earned his success. Or did he? Ask Usher! POINT: Kim Jong-un
Hair apparent: See how the sunlight reflects a golden glow from their privileged heads? OK, Jong-un's a brunette — for now. Former basketball star Dennis Rodman might have persuaded him that blonds have more fun. POINT: Justin Bieber
Ball boys: Kim Jong-un is so obsessed with the NBA that he invited quirky former pro Rodman to visit North Korea in February. But Bieber spanked Shaq in a basketball game challenge, and he's Mark Wahlberg's first choice to play an inner-city basketball star in a feature film. Joff also dribbles ... spit. Like the Korean dictator, he's a spectator, not a playah. POINT: Kim Jong-un
When subjects attack: When a Belieber recently charged the stage during a live performance, the pop star was saved by a bodyguard. A piano was the only real casualty in that particular incident, but Joffrey didn't fare as well during the deadly Kings Landing riots. The boy king escaped with his life, sure, but also received a facial of human excrement. Kim Jong-un was reportedly the target of an assassination attempt, but if it's not on YouTube, did it really happen? POINT: Justin Bieber
Human rights violations: Is there a crime greater than Justin Bieber's hammer pants? Both Joffrey and Jong-un have a terrible record of abusing their constituents. The young Baratheon has a penchant for torture and blood sports, while the U.N. has urged a probe into the North Korean government's crimes against humanity. POINT: Kim Jong-un
Iron deficiency: Joffrey sits on an iron throne, Jong-un hides behind an iron curtain. And Justin has this. POINT: Justin Bieber
Lethal toys: The "Baby" crooner took heat last year for going gangsta with a prop gun on the set of then-girlfriend Selena Gomez's movie "Feed the Dog." But sadistic Joffrey practices target shooting on innocent victims with his fancy bow and arrow, and the North Korean dictator fires nukes. POINT: Kim Jong-un
Generation whine: When the Biebs is aggrieved, he lashes out on Twitter, lunges at the paparazzi and screams outside his girlfriend's locked gate. Joffrey cries to his mother, bleats at his grandfather, scowls at his uncle and kills people. And baby-faced Kim throws a temper tantrum with short-range missiles. POINT: Justin Bieber
Final verdict: In this contest, Bieber and Kim Jong-un are neck and neck ... but only Kim has the power to command a public beheading. In the name of Ned Stark, we have to call North Korea's supreme leader the "winner" of this contest. Do you agree? Vote in our poll!