Watching your mom be verbally abused by your dad isn't something you'd imagine anyone would ever want to relive.
But as Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos found out when she sat down with Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new music video, Lindsay's not only reliving the experience – she's directing it.
“I cried when I saw it. I cried when I saw my take,” Lindsay revealed to Maria.
“It hits so close to home,” Maria noted.
“For me personally, as for what I do and the art of it all, I feel like this is probably the best acting I've ever done because it was kind of like therapy in a way,” Lohan continued. “It's hard. It's not like I'm playing a different character. I'm playing myself, so I'm reliving what has gone on in my life and letting it all out again.”
Lindsay's newest video (“Confessions of a Broken Heart”) is an emotionally raw, gut-wrenching look at the 19-year-old's feelings towards her estranged father, Michael Lohan, who is currently in prison on attempted assault and other charges.
“People have such a different perception of the way I live my life and what's gone on in my life,” the teen queen added. “I can use my music video to show people what really has gone on, as kind of offensive and vulgar as it may be.”
As we mentioned, Lindsay also directs the video, with actors re-enacting what she claims are her parents' fights. But it's her real-life 11-year-old sister Ali who plays a younger Lindsay.
“Seeing your sister being put back in situations like that, was that hard for you? Because she had to go to some emotional places,” Maria asked.
“Yeah, she did and I think that was great for her. I'm looking at the positive of it all. The fact that she is able to do that and release all of that anxiety that has been pent up inside of her, possibly then she can kind of use the video to do that as well,” Lindsay said.
Lindsay and Ali writhed in pain reliving their disturbing childhood in rooms recreated in storefront windows on New York's 26th Street, as a crowd gathered to watch in fascination from the sidewalk.
As if that's not surreal enough, Lindsay's real mom Dina, who filed for divorce from Lindsay's dad this past January, was also on set. “It was a little weird,” Dina told us.
And as Lindsay explained, much of the imagery in the video has a deeper meaning.
“One of the concepts of this video is that I'm in a lot of ball gowns in the video. It's like I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go because I may have all of this visually, but inside internally if you don’t have what you really want, nothing is really there,” she opened up.
“What is it that you really want?” Maria asked.
“I'd like a little more of a conclusion with my family — with my parents, just for their sake,” Lindsay admitted. “But I'm okay. I'm a tough little cookie.”
Lindsay also told us she is putting her own family home movies in the video and once it's completed, we'll premiere the video on Access!