From writer and entrepreneur, Akilah S. Richards
This is a story of issues. Six issues, to be precise.
Issue 1: The toddler is naked, save for her white Pocahontas undies and blue jelly sandals.
Issue 2: She’s running in the opposite direction of me in her state of nakedness — save for her white Pocahontas undies and blue jelly sandals — yelling, “I’m cold, mommy! I’m cooolddd!”
Issue 3: I swear, this toddler is Usain Bolt fast!
Issue 4: We’re in a large grocery store, which is in fact, rather cold.
Issue 5: I have a grocery cart full of food.
Issue 6: Naked toddler’s 5-year-old sister is yelling at the top of her lungs about how her sister is “buggin’ out” and is “gonna get in big, big trouble!” while darting off to catch her runaway sister, leaving me with the task of chasing my 5- and 3-year-old daughters, while still attempting to salvage my cart full of much-needed groceries.
Not that there’s ever a day these sorts of issues are welcomed, but today of all days, it was a clear-cut example of the one-fallen-domino-starts-the-descent effect.
The story that prefaced the above-mentioned issues:
Earlier that day, I received an e-mail from one of my editors asking me to basically re-write a piece within two days, or re-consider my topic entirely. My husband was immersed in a brand re-positioning project, so our usual tag-team approach was not an option. When I opened our refrigerator that morning , I could see clear through to the shiny white area in the back, meaning there was little, to no food inside it. Typically, I refrain from taking both girls with me while running errands because once one of them decides she is no longer interested in whatever I’m doing, and that she deserves instead, to be at the park or the library, this decision becomes contagious, and the other child joins her sister in an awesomely effective nag-and-moan tactic that leaves me .2 seconds from the deep end.
That day, in the cold grocery store, with the naked toddler and her well-meaning big sister, not one person came to my rescue. Probably because they were in shock, like I was, but I witnessed covered mouths and unsuccessfully-stifled laughter as I put the finishing touches on the scene my 3-year-old had successfully created.
Eventually, I made it to the checkout line — beads of sweat dotting my forehead and upper lip, previously naked toddler on my right hip (now re-clad in her favorite blue and white Fourth of July dress), well-meaning 5-year-old big sister riding in the baby-seat section of the cart (for which she’s entirely too big, but who cares?) — and back home to lesser levels of anxiety, and less opportunity for toddler with strong streaker tendencies to break loose and send me back into cardio workout mode.
Lesson in motherhood #12,973: Dress toddlers (especially those who embrace nudist colony perspectives) in hard-to-pull-off clothing when daring to take multiple children out on errand-running days.
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Can you relate? Share your crazy shopping stories with the kids in tow, below.
Learn more about Akilah by visiting her site: Execumama.com