Noah Cyrus is opening up about the Xanax addiction that left her feeling like she was living in a "dark" and "bottomless" pit.
The 22-year-old singer told Rolling Stone magazine that she first took Xanax, which is a brand name for the prescription drug alprazolam, a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety disorder and panic disorder, after a boyfriend gave it to her.
"My boyfriend at the time, when I was 18, was the first person that gave me a Xanax, and it became a way for us to bond,” said Cyrus. “I think I wanted to fit in with him. I wanted to be what he wanted and what he thought was cool and what I thought everybody was doing."
She added, "Once I felt that it was possible to silence things out for a second and numb your pain, it was over.”
Cyrus, the younger sister of pop star Miley Cyrus, said the powerful drug rendered her tired and unable to function. She often found herself waking to begin her day at 8 p.m.
The lowest point, Cyrus recalled, was when she began to pass out during a television interview that ultimately never aired.
“I was completely nodding off and falling asleep, and unable to keep my head up or keep my eyes open, because I was so far gone,” she recalled.
“It just kind of becomes this dark pit, bottomless pit," she added.
The singer, whose debut album "The Hardest Part" is available Sept. 16, said the drug also interfered with her relationship with her beloved grandmother, Loretta, who died in August 2020.
"I felt so guilty for not being there when my grandma died. I was there physically, but emotionally, I was not there. I couldn’t be,” she said.
She was also unable to give emotional support to her grieving mom, Tish Cyrus, and other family members after Loretta's death.
“That was my big eye-opener: I was sitting alone, and I was scared, and I realized that all the people that I love and all the people that I need, I was the one pushing them away,” she said.
The singer went into recovery soon after her grandmother's death. Quitting the drug — and seeking help through therapy — has given her new peace of mind.
“I wake up in the mornings, and I’m able to look in a mirror and go on about my day without hating myself," she said. "I’m able to comfort myself and nurture myself.”