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'Oddly therapeutic': Couple chronicles fights on Twitter

Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:31 AM ET

Claire and Alan's project has strengthened their relationship, they said.
Courtesy of Heather Scholl
Claire and Alan's project has strengthened their relationship, they said.

As a relationship progresses, there are certain milestones to hit: first date, first kiss, moving in together...and joint Twitter account.

Claire Meyer and Alan Linic met in March, created a Twitter handle called We Fought About in August and in September, they moved in together. It’s not the natural progression of things but the account, they say, which chronicles all the couple’s fights, big and small, is “oddly therapeutic.”

“The idea came up because Alan and I had just gotten over a fight and neither of us for the life of us could remember what it was about,” Claire told TODAY.com. “It was so absurd. We thought if we told someone about this no one would believe us. And we guessed that’s how a lot of fights are for us and for other people.”

Claire and Alan, both improv actors in their 20s, met at a show at Chicago’s The Playground.

“I was in the back row and he was in the front row. There was this very bizarre show going on, and I guess at one point I accidentally shouted “oh my God, “ Claire recalled. “He turned around and started laughing. So afterwards I went over to talk to him and he was like, “Are you the 'oh my God' girl?”

They began dating, and had their first fight about one month in. But naturally, they can’t remember what it was about because it wasn’t written down.

They try to share every fight they have, even if that means waiting a few days until it’s good and over. 

"There has been a fight or two that we couldn't agree on how to word — or on what the actual catalyst of the fight was," Alan said. "We've decided not to post them as a result but that's more due to perspective issues than any hesitancy related to their content."

Since they began the feed, they’ve fought about things ranging from Alan finding an ex-girlfriend’s hair while unpacking, to Claire using a “tone” with him. They even fight about Harry Potter, after recently watching all seven movies. Claire once accused Alan of killing a beloved character in the series.

“I got SO mad at him. I don’t remember why I thought he killed Dumbledore but I was so passionate and so mad at him.”

The biggest challenge that’s been presented by their endeavor is how quickly it took off. And with popularity comes the ire of Internet commenters.

“It’s hard to know that my mom and grandma could be reading these horrible comments,” Claire said. 

But she said she’s been trying to brush them off and embrace the enthusiastic people reaching out instead. “It’s been so fun getting tweets from other couples. It’s most enjoyable reading other couples' fights. It makes us feel better.”

The future of the account, which is still very much in its infancy, is unclear. But Alan and Claire have decided that as soon as it becomes a problem they’ll delete it. That time almost came a number of weeks back when Claire broke the cardinal rule of tweeting about a fight before it was resolved.

“It was 2 in the morning after I’d had a drink or two and I thought Alan wasn’t taking (the movie) 'Armageddon' seriously so I tweeted about it,” Claire said. 

Alan tweeted a response the next day:

Claire and Alan say the only pitfall of their Twitter project has been the negative comments.
Courtesy of Claire Meyer and Ala
Claire and Alan say the only pitfall of their Twitter project has been the negative comments. But they focus on the positive.

That incident aside, they believe the feed has been a positive for their relationship. "We have changed the way we deal with fights for sure since starting the Twitter," Alan said. "Reverse-engineering the disagreement to find that tipping point has been strangely helpful for really getting over our tiffs and noticing some patterns in our relationship that we can correct."

Neither claims to be a dating or relationship expert, but say that this is what works for them.

"I don't think I'm qualified to give anybody advice on anything other than places to eat," Alan said. "But I would encourage all couples to be honest with each other...If it works for anyone to write their stuff down or tweet about it or scream it into a jar while holding hands, do it." 

“I don’t feel like I’m good at dating or relationships," said Claire. "I’m just good at being with Alan.”

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