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How to un-spoil your child

Uh-oh… are you raising a spoiled brat? We love them, we want them to be happy, we want them to have every advantage in life. But indulging every whim might turn them into little monsters. Worse, spoiled children grow up to be entitled, unhappy adults who don’t know how to work for what they want in life.Parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba joined the TODAY Show to talk about how to un-spoil you

Uh-oh… are you raising a spoiled brat? We love them, we want them to be happy, we want them to have every advantage in life. But indulging every whim might turn them into little monsters. Worse, spoiled children grow up to be entitled, unhappy adults who don’t know how to work for what they want in life.

Parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba joined the TODAY Show to talk about how to un-spoil your child, and she offers TODAY Moms readers some extra tips (below the video).

 First, have you got a spoiled kid on your hands? Maybe in a bit of denial about it? Here’s her four-word test:

  • NO: How does your kid typically respond to the word? Does he expect to get what he wants -- and usually does?
  • ME: Is she self-centered and thinks the world revolves around her?
  • GIMME: Greedy and never satisfied?
  • NOW! Does he have patience, or demand things ASAP?

If those descriptions strike a little too close to home, take heart: It’s not too late to turn things around. Here are Dr. Borba’s “deprogramming strategies”:

  1. Decide to change. Expect resistance, but commit to change. Tune in to your own behavior.
  2. Dethrone the little king or queen. Stop the constant praise, and don’t let your child always be the center of attention.
  3. Boost character. Talk up the concept that who you are matters more than what you own. Stress giving over getting.
  4. Set limits. Say no, without guilt, and don’t give in.
  5. Wait for it. Stretch your child’s ability to wait for things they want. Delayed gratification nurtures perserverance.
  6. From Me to We. Young kids are naturally egocentric. Guide them gently away from ME-ME-ME so they start thinking WE-WE-WE. Look for those everyday moments: “Let’s ask Alice what she would like to do.” “How do you think Daddy feels?” “Ask your friend what he would like to play."

Do you think kids in general are more spoiled these days? How about your own little darlings – how do you combat spoiled-rotten behavior in your own family? Add your voice to the comments below!