When I was a mom-to-be, I craved any and all advice on baby care. And in talking to other expectant and new mothers, I found that they shared my hunger for dependable knowledge, in other words, — advice from the experts. So after coming up with the 100 topics new moms cared about most, I sought out the top experts in the world to write chapters to fill our collective knowledge gaps. When “Today” readers e-mailed me questions earlier this week, I once again turned to the same experts whose wisdom fills the pages of the book that I compiled, “The Experts’ Guide to the Baby Years: 100 Things Every Parent Should Know,” to share their advice with you. If you’d like to read an excerpt, click here.
Dear Samantha: My son is 18 months old and is still taking two naps a day. I think he is old enough to just take one, but my husband disagrees. Our son sleeps all night, even with two naps. How will I know when he is ready to take just one nap a day? — Deborah of Richmond, Va.
Dear Deborah: According to Jodi Mindell, a sleep expert, the majority of children move from two naps a day to one nap, but many not until closer to 20 or 21 months. Your son sounds like he is sleeping great and there is no reason to make the switch, if he is sleeping so well. Some signs that he is ready to make the switch are not falling asleep at all for one of his naps or taking a long time to fall asleep. Another sign is if on a day that he misses one of his naps, he does fine the rest of the day. You can always try one nap for several days and see how he does. But, again, there is no reason to make the change simply for the sake of change.
Dear Samantha: My baby is almost five months old and I would like to start him on solids. Some people are telling me to put rice cereal in his bottle and some say to start with a baby spoon. What is best? — Lenore of New York City
Dear Lenore: I spoke with Linda Hsieh, a nutritionist, and she explained that putting cereal in a baby’s bottle can be a choking hazard. Instead, she recommends mixing a small amount of rice cereal in a bowl and offering your baby a dab of cereal with a baby spoon. If your baby is ready, she will take the small sample of cereal, explore the texture and taste, and then swallow the cereal very easily. Remember, there is no need to rush or force feed him, if he is not yet ready. I personally waited until six months to try this with my daughter. I gave her a baby spoon of cereal mixed with pureed pear and formula and though it was a messy few days, within a week she was eating from the spoon like a pro.
Dear Samantha: Any tips on preparing my 14-month-old for my new baby due next month, November? — Lisa of Mcallen, Texas
Dear Lisa: According to Nancy Samalin, who runs parenting workshops around the country, it takes love and understanding to help your child prepare for a sibling. She emphasizes the importance of reminding your child that the new arrival won’t be doing much in the beginning, so he won’t expect too much. It is also wise to spend time with friends who have little babies and help your child practice “gentle” behavior with pets or stuffed animals.
Dear Samantha: Samantha, My son is 15 months old. He is a very easy-going, happy toddler. However, in the past two months he has starting biting me, my husband as well as others. We are trying to notice patterns and it seems like he does it when he is tired or frustrated. We try to pick up on these signs ahead of time to prevent any biting, but he still is biting. We tell him, “No,” but I don’t know how effective that really is. What else can we do to teach our son that biting is not acceptable? — Suzanne of Hendersonville, Tenn.
Dear Suzanne: I hear concerns like yours so often from my friends with toddlers. According to Debbie Glasser, a clinical psychologist, biting often occurs when young children feel tired or frustrated — and don’t yet have the advanced language skills to communicate their needs or feelings. Glasser explains that by paying attention to when it occurs you are already on the right track. Her other suggestions include:
- Start building your son’s “feelings vocabulary” by giving him the words to express his feelings.
- Saying “no” is fine, but be specific and say, “Biting hurts” to let your son know why this behavior is not OK. Speak in a firm, matter-of-fact tone, but don’t yell — or bite back.
- Pay attention to the person who was bitten. If your son bites another child, focus on helping the child feel better.
- Notice positive behavior. Provide plenty of positive attention when he is not biting and is playing nicely.
- Partner with his teachers. Arrange a meeting to talk with his daycare provider and find out how they are responding. Work together to address this behavior consistently.
- Typically biting is a passing phase but if this behavior persists, seek professional guidance.
Dear Samantha: I am the mother of a gorgeous five-month-old daughter, and I am wondering what additional activities I can do with her to stimulate her development (we already sing and read daily, have playtime on her play mat, and take lots of walks outside. — Rachel of Milford, Conn.
Dear Rachel: I completely relate! At every stage of my daughter’s development, I wonder if there is something new I am supposed to be doing with her. It sounds like you are already doing a ton to enhance your baby’s development. Claire Lerner, a clinical social worker, says that you are already building a strong bond with your baby, which is the foundation for all growth and learning and that will help her learn language and early thinking skills.
As for what else you can do specifically with your five-month-old, Lerner says you should think of cause-and-effect projects. This is the age that babies are beginning to understand that they can make things happen. They shake a rattle and it makes a noise. They reach their arms out to you and you pick them up. These experiences not only build thinking skills, but they also build babies’ self-confidence as they see themselves as capable and important which motivates them to keep on making things happen. Lerner explains that there is no need to formally “teach” your baby any specific skills. Young children are born curious and are driven to understand how the world works. Other Lerner tips at this age include:
- Respond to her communications.
- Give her different objects that she can touch, bang, shake and roll.
- Label her actions: “You got the truck to move by pulling the string!”
- Delight in her discoveries.
Thanks so much for your questions! And happy new parenting. Feel free to let me know how it’s going at . To read an excerpt of “The Experts’ Guide to the Baby Years: 100 Things Every Parent Should Know,” click here.