Social media star Tinx joined TODAY's Jill Martin for a candid conversation on Instagram Live Monday, discussing her viral advice videos and popular theories on dating and relationships.
Tinx, aka Christina Najjar, who took on the moniker as an "alter ego" after watching the 1998 film "All I Wanna Do" when she was in middle school, has become a positive figure on TikTok. She offers her devoted followers (1.4 million and counting) advice on everything from pop culture, dining out and, most of all, dating and relationships.
"There's always something to learn from someone, so I love giving advice," Tinx, 31, told Martin. "And it's been a really, really fun ride. I feel like I'm just getting started."
One of her most famous pieces of advice is the "box theory," an idea that on a first date, men immediately place women into one of three boxes: women they want to date, women they want to sleep with and women they want nothing to do with. Tinx said that instead of focusing on finding a spouse or partner, the goal of dating should be "to discover things about yourself."
"When you are ready and when the timing is right, the right person will drop into your life," Tinx said. "I don't subscribe to the whole dating to marry thing, and I know a lot of people disagree with me, and that's OK. But for me, dating is much more about exploration and having fun while you're doing it. ... It's like being a teenager, it's like going to college, it's a thing we all do and you should have a great time doing it."
Rather than looking to be "part of a pair," Tinx said it's more important to make sure that you are comfortable with yourself alone.
"There's a lot of misinformation, a lot of narratives out there that say, 'OK, you're only going to be whole or you're only going to be happy when you're part of a pair.' And of course we all want to find love and of course we want to find that companionship," Tinx said. "But I think that sometimes, readjusting your priorities and saying, 'OK, what do I need to feel good in my life?'
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"So, you know, what makes you feel good? How are you doing your job? How are you feeling in your body and yourself? Do you have good self-care practices? All those things are so important, and I do feel really lucky in those areas," Tinx continued. "I really dislike the whole 'What's the catch?' or 'What's wrong?' That's just so negative and I think often when people ask that it stems from a place of insecurity."
Tinx added that she is single right now, but her opinions and advice have been formed by dating experiences all over the country.
"I've dated in San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles, so I really, really dug," said Tinx, who grew up in London. "I've got the stories to back up my advice."
The TikTok star said that she thinks an important part of being happy by yourself is surrounding yourself with positive influences.
"Obviously, hang around with people that make you feel good, but that's so much harder to practice than people think," Tinx said. "I'm the first to say, I get caught up in the scene. L.A. is a crazy place where you can end up going to these parties, these dinners, and you're like, 'I don't actually feel good, these people didn't invite me for the right reason' ... So if you can actually practice it, it will change your life. It's such an important lesson. And I'm still practicing it. I haven't totally mastered the art yet."
After spending years bouncing around a variety of jobs, Tinx has developed a platform where her advice is viewed by more than a million followers.
"One of my favorite moments was there was a mom and she was like 45, and her daughter was like 15 or 16, and she said, 'My daughter and I watched you together and we both take different things from you,'" Tinx recalled. "That meant so much to me ... I think we're kind of over the era of an influencer or a content creator who can only deliver one thing. And now we're in this place where it's like, OK, people want a little bit of everything."
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Tinx added that, in general, she hopes her fans and followers are able to look for "the silver lining" and reframe a situation to find the positive spin.
"I love that phrase that's like, 'It'll all be OK in the end, and if it's not OK, it's not the end,'" Tinx said. "Sometimes things happen for a reason. And you can't, you don't know what the reason is, but it's all part of it. ... I get so many notes from girls who are like 'I'm so lost, I'm 26 and I'm lost,' ... And I'm like, 'I was there.' I know that it seems like I have everything figured out now, but I was there.
"You just got to keep going," Tinx continued. "Sometimes it doesn't feel good. Sometimes things seem like a mess, but you just got to keep going. Work hard, be nice to people and you will get there. ... You really don't know how things are going to shake out."
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