Caroline Moss is an author and host of the podcast "Gee Thanks, Just Bought It," which helps people find the products they need to make life easier, better and more productive. Now with this column, "Asking for a Friend," she's helping people with the advice they need to make life easier, better and more productive. To submit a question, email us at email@example.com or click here.
I am desperate for some alone time. My husband thinks that taking separate vacations is an indication that our marriage is doomed. He’s a little more traditional than I am. Is he right? Is that a weird thing to ask for? Is there some deeper meaning?
I once read that extroverts get their energy from being around other people and introverts get their energy from being alone. As much as I love socializing, hanging out with friends, and hanging out with my husband, I realized that I am technically introverted because in order for me to recharge my battery, I need to be alone.
Once I figured that out, I made alone time a priority on a weekly basis. Once I got my fill, I could happily return to social settings (even virtual ones) or return to the living room to spend time with my spouse. I communicated that to him and he now understands that this is a way for me to fill my cup and come back 100%.
It sounds like you are a similar person. But it also sounds like maybe your husband has never considered that you might need alone time to become the best version of yourself. Instead, it sounds like he thinks that what you are asking for has to do with him, when it actually only has to do with you. Explain this to him!
No, your marriage is not doomed. No, wanting to be alone — whether it’s to take a solo vacation or to watch TV in the other room — is not a telltale sign of a marriage in trouble. Just remember: Communication is key.
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