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Can I skip a visit to see my family and go on vacation instead?

"We haven’t seen either family since Thanksgiving 2019 and there’s a chance we won’t see them until Christmas this year, making it over two years."
Illustration of woman on vacation with another woman looking through it
Everyone is eager to travel again. But should family come first? TODAY Illustration / Getty Images
/ Source: TMRW

Caroline Moss is an author and host of the podcast "Gee Thanks, Just Bought It," which helps people find the products they need to make life easier, better and more productive. Now with this column, "Asking for a Friend," she's helping people with the advice they need to make life easier, better and more productive. To submit a question, email us at tmrwadvice@nbcuni.com or click here.

Hi Caroline,

My husband and I are recently vaccinated and excited to start traveling again. We want to do three big trips before the end of the year. Luckily our budget and our schedules will allow this. The issue is that none of these trips are to, or near, where our families live, and both families are less than enthusiastic about us blowing them off after the pandemic to spend our vacation and free time elsewhere.

We haven’t seen either family since Thanksgiving 2019 and there’s a chance we won’t see them until Christmas this year, making it over two years. My husband and I both feel OK about this for a lot of reasons, the biggest being that we’re planning on growing our family in 2022 and the days of spontaneous and big, expensive, adventurous vacations will be behind us for awhile. But I still can’t get over how disappointed our families seem with us. Are we wrong?

Thanks,

Vaxxed and Ready to Travel

Hello Vaxxed!

Three big vacations in six months is certainly ambitious and I am more than a little jealous. Take me with you!

Sure, I can see both sides. You want to go on vacation and you want to do it on your time after a year of being unable to travel. Yeah, totally get it. I think a lot of people are in that boat. It also makes sense that your family wants to see you and is disappointed that you are not going to be able to see them until Christmas. They also may feel like they are not important to you.

Maybe that sounds drastic and dramatic, but think about it: We’ve all been unable to live a normal life for over a year. We’ve missed holidays, traditions, family time, etc., and now that we’re able to finally do those things, give those hugs, see our people ... it is obvious to me that your families thought you’d be jumping at the chance to see them and are now bummed to hear that you won’t be until the end of the year.

Look, you do you! But three big vacations in a row in lieu of seeing your families does send the message that you would rather take three big vacations in a row before seeing your families. And that’s fine if that’s how you feel, and it’s also fine if that’s what you want to do. Just don’t be surprised that your families are interpreting this the way that they are.

Have a question for Caroline? Email us at tmrwadvice@nbcuni.com or fill out the form below.