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Nordstrom's $425 mud-covered jeans are confusing

Nordstrom's mud-covered jeans go beyond distressed denim. They're denim in distress.
/ Source: TODAY

You have your daytime jeans. You have your nice-occasion jeans. And then you have those jeans.

You know, the stained and tattered pair you keep around for hiking or gardening or spontaneous mud wrestling. It's good to be prepared.

Well, just in case you finally ripped them beyond the point of return, don't fret! Nordstrom is selling the perfect replacement pair.

And they're going to charge you only $425 for them.

According to the description, these PRPS jeans "embody rugged, Americana workwear" and show "you're not afraid to get down and dirty."

Nordstrom PRPS Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans
When we said "no scrubs," this isn't what we

Whoa, mud jeans. We just met a minute ago. That is too much information.

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Let's take a closer look at that "crackled, caked-on" coating, shall we?

Nordstrom PRPS Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans
You could have just texted that you needed to run home and change! We totally would have waited!

This goes beyond distressed denim. This is denim in distress.

The style is called "barracuda," and frankly, we're not sure which we'd less like to see in the wild.

Blackfin Barracuda
Suddenly, those teeth don't seem so scary.Alamy stock

We'd probably just scream and swim from the barracuda animal. But we can't be held responsible for what might come out of our mouths if these jeans wandered into our sight line.

We're baffled by the proposed use. Are you going to wear your $400 jeans to roll around in the mud?

Are you going on a date looking like you were chased there by the Smoke Monster from "Lost?"

Honestly, we wouldn't pay $4.25 for them at Goodwill.

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We don't know. Maybe we're just not rugged enough.

Or maybe these jeans are besmirching the name of our fine country. We do laundry here, too!

What do you think?