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These absurd earrings-slash-glasses have us seriously confused

Should we call them specta-rings? Ear-tacles?
/ Source: TODAY

In this chronically busy day and age, we're all about anything that lets us streamline. Some of our favorite things involve combining two good ideas into one even better idea: brunch, for example, or "totchos."

But we must say, we have never felt the need to combine all of our accessories into one mega-accessory.

Apparently, the visionary folks at ASOS feel differently.

Do your glasses hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?ASOS

ASOS is selling these "Round Sunglasses with Hoop Earrings" for $26. In the spirit of saving time, we'd like to propose a snappier name: Should we call them specta-rings? Ear-tacles?

Honestly, we'd really like to call them absurd.

Where do we begin? Perhaps with the baffling logistics of putting them on, since they appear to be magically levitating in front of the model's face.

What is this sorcery?ASOS

We get that the chain straps hook over the ears, letting the hoops hang down to the sides. But are we to believe they'll stay that way while we run around doing all of our usual sunglasses-on activities? And that they won't chafe our delicate upper ear skin in the process?

And what happens when we go inside and want to take our sunglasses off? Are we forced to then go earring-less? Carry a spare pare of earrings in our purses, thus defeating the time-saving promise of one less accessory?

We apologize, this video has expired.

Or do we keep the earring straps on, letting the glasses hang down to the front like a necklace?

Do we then have to call them Spec-neck-ta-rings?

Blink twice if you need help.ASOS

These are exhausting.

The model wearing them looks pretty blissed out, though. Maybe she used all that time she would have spent accessorizing to get a massage.

We don't know. We haven't been this traumatized since Teva-Uggs.

When it comes to combos, we'll stick with food.