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OK, designers. We need to talk.
Have a seat, Christopher Kane. We’re looking at you.
Listen, we accept — nay, applaud — this heyday of comfort after years of oppressive tailoring and sky-high heels. The whole “athleisure” thing has been nothing short of delightful.
When donning leggings and sneakers became an actual fashion statement, we rejoiced.
And when high-fashion Birkenstocks began appearing in luxury fabrics such as snakeskin and fur … well, we were skeptical. But ultimately, we count ourselves believers.
Some lines should never be crossed, though.
We want you to take a good hard look at what you’ve done
That’s right. Crocs at London Fashion Week. You did that, Christopher Kane. You went there.
We hear the theme of your collection was "Make-Do and Mend," and that you were inspired by the "purposeful clash of clothing cultures ... with the horticultural, the rural and homemade, contrasted with the sleek, urban and sophisticated." Apparently, this is what that clash hath wrought. And now you're trying to sell them for $150.
Now, don’t misunderstand us. We’ll cede that even Crocs have their time and place. They’re probably great for gardening, or taking the dog around the block, or avoiding splatter during long shifts in commercial kitchens (we see you, Mario Batali).
Even Duchess Kate once wore them while boating. Who are we to argue with that?
But we’re talking about the shoe that inspired memes saying, “See those little holes? That’s where your dignity leaks out.”
And, “Because we all need a shoe that says I’ve given up on my hopes and dreams.”
Not to mention that they're not even good for your feet!
We have not given up on our hopes and dreams, Christopher Kane. And we have not given up on you. But we need you to pull yourself together.
Crocs may be comfortable, but so is walking around without pants on and that doesn’t mean we’re allowed to do so whenever we please. We live in a society.
In the immortal words of Miranda Priestly, "That’s all."