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As a dating and relationship expert at Smart Dating Academy, my goal is to help singles be successful in dating so they find happy, lasting love.
One of the first things I always teach my clients during our initial session is HOW to become more likable — immediately. We often obsess about having the RIGHT clothes, driving the RIGHT car, having the RIGHT friends to become more impressive — all with the goal of having people like us.
Is that the secret? The good news is that it's NOT! There is a much easier way to do this without having to spend a dollar, and you can start it today:
The best way to get someone to like you is to like them FIRST.
Yes, it's really that simple. You'll make an instantaneous impact on those around you.
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Here's how to do it: First, shift your attitude. Look for what is good in someone (and find what you like). I call it the "positivity bias." It could be their warm smile, their easy demeanor, their red lipstick — whatever it is. When you are provoking yourself to look for what is good, you will find it.
The next step is to say it and not worry about sounding obsequious or like a "kiss up." At the base of human nature is a deep desire to feel validated and respected — and a good compliment will get you everywhere.
When you look for what is good, say it and don't forget to say it with a big smile and fierce eye contact. We see amazing results in the dating world, professional world and even at home.
Start practicing this, and teach it to your kids, your partners and friends — and you'll help to bring more love into the world!
Bela Gandhi is the president of Smart Dating Academy, a date and relationship coaching service that helps singles find happy and lasting love at all ages.