The funny thing about drunken noodles is that none of the recipes I've ever found actually have alcohol in them — you are supposed to eat them WHILE drunk as a hangover cure (I am not opposed), but I decided they'd be good actually drunk themselves, so I added whiskey. The noodles are big, flat sponges for the sauce, and there's broccoli for John, plus scrambled eggs and chicken, and you can (should) hit it with some really spicy sh*t. Pepper gave me major side-eye when she caught me developing this Thai-ish recipe without her permission, but she actually ate a whole bowlful. So I win.
Sambalism: I know I use a lot of Sriracha, but sometimes I use sambal oelek instead for a similar but not-the-same effect. Unlike Sriracha, which has some sweetness and tang thanks to sugar and vinegar, this is basically smashed-up chiles with some salt and garlic thrown in for good measure. It's hot, but not death-hot, and it's delicious.
For the sauce:
In a bowl, combine the brown sugar, soy sauce, oyster sauce, whiskey, mirin, sambal, and garlic. Set aside.
For the stir-fry:
In a wok or a really big skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of the canola oil over medium-high heat. Pour in the eggs and cook, stirring, until the eggs form large curds. Transfer to a medium bowl and cover to keep warm. Wipe out or clean the pan if you need to get any stuck egg out.
Toss the chicken breast with the sesame oil and salt. Heat another 1 tablespoon of the canola oil in the wok over high heat, until it smokes, add the chicken, and stir-fry until just cooked through and no longer pink, 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer to the bowl with the eggs and cover.
Add the remaining 2 tablespoons oil to the pan over high heat. When it smokes, add the scallions, ginger, and garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant and the scallions are bright green, 20 seconds. Add the broccoli, mushrooms, and broth and cook, stirring, until the broccoli turns bright green and the stock is almost evaporated, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the noodles, chicken and eggs, and the sauce to the wok. Cook, tossing the mixture, until warmed though, the noodles are cooked, and the sauce at the bottom of the wok bubbles and thickens, 4 to 5 minutes. Garnish with scallions.
Reprinted with permission from Cravings: Recipes for All the Food You Want to Eat by Chrissy Teigen and Adeena Sussman.