First Kevin Federline gets body slammed in front of a national audience on WWE… about a week later, Britney delivers the final blow.
It’s been a rough month for the soon-to-be-single K-Fed, now that Britney has filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences.”
So while a now-looking-fit-and-fab Brit is already gearing up for a career renaissance, Kevin seems to be hanging in the lurch.
So what’s next for the now-second-former-Mr. Britney Spears? (Jason Alexander, anyone? 55 hours? Ring a bell? Yes? No? OK, moving on…)
While his days as a backup dancer for the likes of Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson and Christina Milian undoubtedly paid the bills, K-Fed hit the proverbial jackpot when he and Brit tied the knot back in 2004.
And it didn’t take long before Kevin was spotted racing around town in his Ferrari, draped in Gucci — truly the stuff some people’s dreams are made of. And apparently the same things Kevin’s rap songs were made of too, as the majority of the lyrics from his new album reference his short-lived high-rolling lifestyle.
But now that he’s on the verge of having his financial lifeline cut, what’s next for K-Fizzy?
Well, there’s always his fledgling rap career.
The world got their first dose of Kevin The Rapper in January 2006 when the Brazilian-flavored dance single “PopoZao” (roughly translated in Portuguese it means “nice butt”) hit the airwaves. Upon it’s less than stellar release, Billboard dubbed the song “a monument to mediocrity.”
Kevin’s next big appearance on the world stage came in August at the 2006 Teen Choice Awards when a very-pregnant Britney introduced her husband’s performance of “Lose Control.”
Federline stalked about the stage with attitude as he rapped about his bling, popping Cristal (obviously oblivious of the whole hip-hop Cristal boycott) and his amazing rhyming skills.
“Don’t hate because I’m a superstar! And I’m married to a superstar! Nothin’ come between us no matter who you are!” he declared, as dancers pop-locked at his side.
The performance was met with mixed reviews — at best.
While the Associated Press described the effort as “enthusiastic” and concluded that Federline “apparently” could rap, those in the hip-hop community blasted K-Fed.
Elliot Wilson, editor in chief of XXL magazine, said the performance was something to be laughed off in hip-hop circles.
“I just think we ignore him,” Wilson said the next day. “He’s a joke, basically ... I just don’t think he gets it. He doesn’t get that he’s Britney’s man and it’s hard to take him seriously.”
With that in mind, perhaps Kevin considers the split from Brit a blessing in disguise for his rap career. After all, he’s no longer Britney’s man.
If that’s the case, the timing couldn’t be more perfect as Britney filed her petition for divorce the week after Kevin’s album hit stores. But did it help?
“Playing With Fire” hit the shelves on Halloween … and proceeded to sell a dismal 6,500 copies.
And while thousands of copies sold in an opening week isn’t necessarily a bad thing, when you look at this week’s Billboard album charts, you’ll have to scan all the way down to No. 151 to find Kevin. By comparison, this week’s top seller (the soundtrack to Disney’s “Hannah Montana”) sold over 203,000 copies.
Even former “American Idol’s” southern darling, Kellie Pickler, managed to sell 79,000 copies of her debut album that same week, good enough for a respectable ninth place finish on the charts.
On Wednesday night, Kevin performed at Chicago’s House of Blues (and made a point to tell all those in attendance he was a “free man”). But after the show, some of the concertgoers told the Associated Press it was the worst show they’d ever seen.
Maybe a return to roots is in order.
After all, despite his imperfections, the one thing most people seem to agree on is that Kevin is actually one heck of a dancer.
Then, of course, there’s always acting. Kevin made his primetime acting debut this season as a snotty teen on “CSI.” He later appeared on two episodes of “WWE RAW” where he was body slammed by champ John Cena. Never one to give up, Kevin has since challenged Cena to a match on New Year’s Day.
Hey, WWE Champ Kevin Federline has a nice ring to it.
And, of course, if all else fails ... there’s always room in the next “Surreal Life” house.