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Robyn Brown questions why she joined plural marriage in 'Sister Wives' premiere

Robyn Brown says she has depression amid the family's changing dynamic, which her husband Kody Brown likens to a "civil war."

Robyn Brown struggles to navigate her family's new dynamic in the wake of Christine and Kody Brown's divorce and rising tensions between Janelle and Kody Brown in the Season 18 premiere of "Sister Wives."

The reality star, who is Kody Brown's fourth wife, opens up about the dynamics that have been brewing in her fractured plural family in a confessional interview.

"I’m really struggling with what’s going on right now with the rest of the family, not just with Christine leaving, but the boys and Kody (being estranged) and Janelle (and Kody fighting) and all that stuff. It's just like, 'Who are you people?' I don't get it," she says.

Her husband, Kody Brown, called the family dynamic a "civil war" in his own interview.

The mother of five explains that it's "tense" in the family right now as they decide how to handle the upcoming holidays.

“Now they’re talking about doing Christmas separate. It’s just this whole new worry and heartbreak and stress about whether or not we’ll not be together for Christmas. But it's still like horrible to sit and think about. It’s scaring me and stressing me out a lot,” she says.

While contemplating a life without plural marriage, Robyn Brown says she's trying hard not to feel like it's "the end of our world."

"I’m looking for some light at the end of the tunnel cause I'm struggling so bad," she says and holds back tears. 

In a conversation with her sister wife, Meri Brown, Robyn Brown says that she is “depressed” and finds it challenging not to “go all dark" when she thinks about how their family dynamic has shifted drastically.

“COVID (has) really made me wonder if what I saw (when I entered the plural family) was real. And I’m not trying to be insulting there, but it’s making me wonder if it was as real as I thought it was because of what has happened the last year and a half,” she says.

In a confessional, Robyn Brown emphasizes that she’s “struggling with depression” amid the family's collapse. She says, “I feel like we’ve failed.”

Meri Brown says that the problems in their plural family were certainly "amplified" during COVID, but says there were always problems.

Meri Brown, who announced that her marriage to Kody Brown was over just months after filming Season 18 of "Sister Wives," elaborates on the conversation in a confessional.

"If she saw that we were perfect, then either we were all really good actors or she had blinders on. I don't know. And I'm not saying that to be rude. We just ... we were not perfect but we were good," she says.

While reflecting on the situation, Robyn Brown says her family's issues have led her to a point where she's "questioning (her) reality."

"I’m starting to wonder if I didn’t really know what was happening back then. I’m just looking for answers because I don’t understand this. I know some people would be like, 'Well what does it matter?' It matters to me," she says.

The reality star then goes on to describe what she originally saw in Kody Brown's plural family when she first met him.

"When I got divorced, it was a tough situation and my most important thing was my kids and feeling like there was a safe family to be a part of. And when I met Kody's family, I saw them operating as one family. I saw all these different things going on in the family that seemed very functional. I thought this was a safe place for my kids to be," she says.

Regardless of the relationship woes Kody Brown has had with Christine and Janelle Brown, Robyn Brown says she finds comfort in the fact that Meri Brown is still willing to stick things out.

"I'm grateful that Meri is not giving up on our family. It's ironic because she wants to keep figuring this out and working it out, but yet her and Kody are where they're at and I just wish it was different, I do," she says.