Kody Brown's divorce from third wife Christine Brown seems to have him second guessing his life choices, especially the decision to enter into a plural marriage with four women.
The "Sister Wives" star reflects on his breakup with Christine in the latest episode of Season 17 of the TLC reality series and admits that he doesn't believe in polygamy the same way he once did.
“It’s a weird thing to be getting left. It’s made me question getting into plural marriage. It’s made me question my faith, and especially question my religion,” he says in a confessional. “The message that we had to the world about functional polygamy seems so dysfunctional now.”
Throughout the episode, titled "The Last Family Gathering," Kody reflects on the "cloud of sadness" he's been experiencing amidst his split with Christine.
“I’m living in a delusional world where I’m wishing that Christine wouldn’t leave,” he explains, adding that he’s living in a “state of regret and frustration.”
Kody says he’s in the “anger” phase of the grieving process and says his life has been “in a form of limbo” ever since Christine announced her intention to move to Utah with their youngest daughter Truely.
“I’ve not been addressing it well,” he acknowledges.
Meanwhile, Kody's other wives are processing the news of Christine's departure in their own way. For starters, Robyn, Kody's fourth wife, tries to hold onto hope that Kody and Christine will somehow get back together.
"Why isn't this something worth fighting for? Why isn't this something worth staying for?" she questions in a confessional.
Meri can't seem to understand why Christine and Kody can't just work things out, especially since three are young children involved.
“We’re not doing justice to our family and we’re not doing justice to Ariella and Solomon (Robyn and Kody’s children) and Truely (Christine and Kody’s daughter), these little ones who really need to have that security of family,” she says in a confessional.
Janelle previously admitted that the divorce didn’t exactly surprise her, but she still feels a sense of foreboding after Christine officially broke the news.
"It feels like there's storms brewing in the family. I don’t know what they mean. I don't know what the outcome will be. I personally am not very optimistic that we’ll see very many days like this," she says in a confessional after the family gathers for a party.
Janelle also questions what effect Christine's departure will have on the extended family.
"All around me it feels like there's all this chaos and uncertainty because Christine is leaving. What does it mean? What, are the kids all gonna come home together for the holidays?" she wonders in a private interview.
"I feel like I'm on this little path and there's all these big question marks all around me and all I can do is just keep moving forward and try to be open and flexible to whatever the future looks like," she continues.