'Tonight Show' aunts talk staying in touch during quarantine

They're supposed to give tips about remaining in contact with loved ones, but things go off the rails.

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/ Source: TODAY
By Drew Weisholtz

Tuesday’s episode of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” featured a hilarious sketch in which “The Tonight Show Aunts” joined in to give tips on how to stay in touch with family during quarantine. The only problem? The distracted aunts didn’t exactly provide much advice.

Tina Fey was Aunt Martha (“the nervous one”), Paula Pell was Aunt Joan (“the kooky one”) and Rachel Dratch was drunk Aunt Sue, all of whom had a tough time staying focused on the issue at hand.

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After Fallon asks for tips, Aunt Martha decides to go in a different direction.

“Are you eating enough?" she asks Fallon. "You look thin to me.” Then the aunts urge him to spin around and show his lower half, which he won't do.

“You’ve always been kind of fat-skinny,” Martha says, which causes Fallon to erupt in laughter. “Skinny people can have heart attacks, too.”

Fallon then asks if they have any thoughts about ways families can stay in touch while they remain in quarantine.

“Here’s a thought: Why is it you never tell me when your program is on?” Aunt Sue ponders before taking a sip of wine.

Fallon tells her it’s on at the same time every night.

“Well, why can’t I ever get it?" she responds. "Tonight, I turned on my TV, same way I always do, by pressing input six times, then crying and calling the fire department."

“And still no ‘Tonight Show,’" Martha chimes in. “She doesn’t get ‘The Tonight Show.’ And, Jimmy, I think it’s Russians.”

Fallon tries to keep the ladies on point about discussing tips for remaining in touch.

“Yes, thank you, Jimmy," Aunt Joan says. "You're so disciplined. You would’ve made a great doctor, but it didn’t work out,” she adds, before asking if Scarlett Johansson was nice when she was a guest.

“That wasn’t even close to a tip,” Fallon replies.

Aunt Joan then encourages him to book her friend Ruth, whom she says "is hilarious," while trying to entice him by letting him know Ruth has seen the “Friends” episode where Ross gets a monkey.

Fallon had his hands full keeping Aunt Martha (Tina Fey), Aunt Joan (Paula Pell) and Aunt Sue (Rachel Dratch) focused.The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Martha and Sue then convince Joan to pass along her idea for a skit, so she tells Fallon how she went to the supermarket, but “the carts were on the other side of the store.”

“That’s it?” he asks.

“Obviously, you have to add the jokes, but that’s the backbone of it,” Joan says.

“She’s giving you the structure,” Martha chimes in.

Fallon appears to reach his breaking point, chastising the aunts for talking about other things instead of keeping in touch with family. The aunts, though, have the last laugh.

“It’s like I spent all this time just …” he frustratedly says, without finishing his thought.

“Catching up with family?” Joan questions.

“That’s how you do it, Jamie,” Martha adds.

“It ain’t pretty, but it ain’t fun, either,” Sue chimes in.

As Fallon ends the segment, Martha has one last important question.

“Real quick, before you go. Are you pooping? How are your stools?” she asks.