Savannah's the full package: She's an adorable blonde with blue eyes and a sparkling personality. In fact, all she's missing are her two front teeth!
But would that be a problem for the 7-year-old, who with the help of mom Shanna, came out of a two-year retirement to compete in the "high glitz" Southern Celebrity Mini National Pageant in Chicago.
And did she even stand a chance against 7-year-old Brock, who was just coming off of his first spray tan? Hang on to your at-home airbrushing kits and let's discuss...
Caught in the Spray: "It was really cool, I felt like it was a water park," Brock, a Broadway diva in the making with a prowess for pageantry, said excitedly. "My mom did really good on my spray tan!"
If It Ain't Broke: Sydney, 6, a veteran of so-called "natural" pageants where they don't even let the kids wear fake eyelashes (my word!) is nicknamed the "title stealer." Why? For all the times she's left her home state of Indiana to snatch other states' titles from the clutches of her fellow first-graders, that's why! But now mom Kim is preparing Sydney for her first "full glitz" event. Can she hack it?!
Live and Learn: Shanna will never shave Savannah's eyebrows again, and has instead embarked on a waxing-and-tweezing routine. Is it just us, or do these girls start looking younger the more hairspray and makeup is plastered to their tiny faces and heads?
Cry, Baby!: "If you cry, you cannot compete," Shanna warned Savannah as her daughter picked frustratingly at her hair piece. "We cannot have anymore tears." Kim, meanwhile, teared up when she saw Sydney all glitzed up, looking "like a 16-year-old little girl." Hmm, how about we all have a cry now?
Improv Dramedy: Brock, who BTW seems like the only kid who really wants to be doing this, is psyched to don his sparkly red shirt and "cool black pants" for his half-choreographed, half-improvised dance routine.
Lockout Freakout: Shanna forgot Savannah's number in their hotel room, and when she ran back to get it, neither of her key cards worked! Such a freakin' disaster! The manager refused to believe without proof that room 511 really was Shanna's, so the employee went up by herself while Shanna complained to anyone who would listen that Savannah's number was locked in their room! And these mothers worry about their daughters losing face. (P.S. The number was arrived and pinned to Savannah in time for her Casual Wear Routine.)
Bringin' Down the House: Even some of his fellow contestants were bopping their thickly sprayed heads to the music when Brock started dancing. Mom Tori has every reason to be proud of her brave little boy who seems more comfortable with himself than most guys three times his age.
Cowed Girl: Sydney's cowgirl dance routine had a few missteps and, as Shanna so helpfully pointed out, she dropped a few pieces of her costume on the floor. But the child kept a stiff upper lip and smiled throughout.
Winning: Savannah was named Celebrity Division Queen and won for Outfit of Choice, ages 6 to 7. Sydney won for Natural Photogenic, and was picked out of her group to compete for a "supreme" title. Brock, meanwhile, was named top personality of the day and chose one of the girls' crowns (he was given a choice of styles) to commemorate his victory. "I beat all the girls in personality," he declared.
The Supremes: Sydney was named Beauty Supreme ("Why wouldn't she take the Beauty Supreme title?"), and Brock scored Boy's Grand Supreme. Then a little sprout named Riley was named Chicago Mini-National Ultimate Supreme, ending Savannah's day on a down note.
So, were the judges right in picking Sydney over glitz veteran Savannah? How do you feel about young Brock's pageant aspirations? Share all your thoughts and fears in the comments section.
Are the boys gonna take over? And what do you think about these "natural " pageants? Let us know on the Clicker's Facebook page!