IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.

There’s no love for the girls on ‘SYTYCD’

It’s going to suck when voters eliminate all the girls and every opening number is a big sausage fest. I’m just saying, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of love for the girls.
/ Source:

A few thoughts about the opening number. One, Sonya may be the show’s best, or at least most creative, choreographer. Two, this is possibly the best top ten ever. And finally, it’s going to suck when voters eliminate all the girls and every opening number is a big sausage fest, at least when it comes to actual competitors. I’m just saying, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of love for the girls, and I don’t see that changing this week, either.

And it’s on with the show! Adam and Cat are going to see the new “Twilight” movie, and Nigel rescued two dogs. I feel so much closer to them now, although it seems Mia doesn’t seem to be part of the backstage chit chat, which makes me a little sad, as she seems like she would have interesting weekend plans. National Dance Day blah blah blah blah. Cat hasn’t been doing her NappyTabs routine. If you have exciting plans for National Dance Day, you can get your video aired on the show. Start talking money, and I might be more interested.

Cristina, Kent and Adechike are the first three on the block. First, we revisit Kent’s dance. And people love the Kent, so the Kent is fine. Kent is super happy about that. And his parents are thanking baby Jesus in the audience. Then, we review Adechike’s unnervingly fake smile dancing. If I had to pick someone to be in the bottom based on last night, I’d have to go with Adechike. But he’s also fine.

Cristina, not fine. She is in the bottom three. Again. Which shocks Adam. He gives Cristina props for taking criticism, and knows she’s going to bring it. Actually, he said slaughter it, which seems a little violent. But fine, whatever, she will. I really, really don’t understand why Cristina keeps ending up in the bottom, honestly. There are some other girls who could disappear and I wouldn’t blink, but Cristina has regularly turned in strong performances. I don’t get it. Is it the braces? What, people? Where is the love for Cristina?

If I never see that Tide Free and Gentle commercial again, it will be too soon. That kid gives me the creeps. And please, don’t tell me how she looks just like your niece/daughter/best friend from kindergarten, or tell me how I don’t like kids. I just don’t like this kid. And, possibly, Tide. It’s elimination night, Cristina’s in the bottom three again, I’m allowed to be cranky, so there.

And we’re back. Four more dancers on the block. Alex is… safe. Of course he’s safe. Even if he wasn’t safe, c’mon, the judges would keep him. I think he knows this now, because he doesn’t look as worried as last week. Or maybe he just looks tired, I don’t know.

Jose is… really not good at Bollywood but he’s a bright light or whatever. And he’s safe. I don’t get it.

Ashley has… curled her hair.

Melinda is… wearing high-waisted Spandex pants. Red high-waisted Spandex pants, mind you. This falls under the “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” rule.

Between the two of them, the one in the bottom three is… Melinda. God, this is like last week all over again. Nigel says voters didn’t connect with her, and he blames the dress. Seriously, not the dress. Whatever you do, Melinda, don’t tap for your life.

Uh-oh, we’re down to the last three — Lauren, Billy and Robert. I find it hard to believe any one of these dancers would be in the bottom. Yes, Billy crumped, but he lived to tell the tale, which is pretty impressive. And both Lauren and Robert were solid last night.

And the unlucky one is… Robert? Huh. Really, kind of a surprise. Was he really the weakest link of the boys last night? When Jose was murdering Bollywood? Mia doesn’t want to lose him and says he’s one of the judges’ favorite performers. I think Robert needs to cut down on the wacky/goofy crap when he’s not dancing, because it just makes the little tweens who could be crushing on him think he’s just as gross as the little boys sitting behind them making fart jokes during math class.

Just a thought — it seems that the producers are using a lot of the footage of the all-stars mouthing off to the judges (Courtney, Comfort, Anya, etc.) in defense of their partners during these recaps. I had been thinking that, given how it seemed to generally annoy the judges, we might not see this in future weeks, but now I can see why the producers might want to keep this. The dancers have clearly learned from previous seasons to take their lumps with quiet grace, so the all-stars are the only ones who can bring the drama. Kind of genius, really.

Time for a guest performance. Oh hey, it’s Bryan Gaynor. We love Bryan Gaynor. He performs with his two buddies, who make up the rest of Remote Control. I’m a little sad they all go for the mask option, but it doesn’t matter because crap, they’re good. Really good. I hope they get a hell of a lot of work from this. Even if they’re dressed like those metallic guys who’ll bust a move for a buck that you see at every tourist trap.

Next, Cristina dances her butt off. I really think Cristina has the potential to learn and grow, and this is a strong performance. Why she hasn’t found a following, I have no idea.

Melinda. Oh yay, she’s tapping. Yes, she’s a very good tapper. But the fact remains, tap is just the most spastic, ugly dance out there, no matter how good it is. I’d rather watch ducks waddle across the stage, honestly.

Robert dances. He also brings it. Judges, end our suffering and send home the tapper, please.

Debi Nova performs “Drummer Boy” She looks like Jillian Michaels’ slightly cuter sister. What’s interesting is her dress is both boring (beige) and weird (the hemline) at the same time. Someone needs a stylist, methinks. But the song’s fine. At least it’s danceable, which is always a good thing on a show about, well, dance.

Cat is either gigantic, or Debi Nova is a midget. They’re kind of like one of those Guinness Book of World Records photos of the shortest and the tallest women in the world, except usually those women are not as cute and more on the creepy side.

Nigel reveals a decision has been made, and it’s not unanimous. He tells Robert it would be easier to kick him to the curb, due to the surplus of boys on the show. But, no can do. Then, he asks Melinda to step forward. He tells her the public just isn’t connecting with her, and he would have liked to let her go, but Mia and Adam wanted to keep her. So, that leaves Cristina. WTF? Nigel tells her she was brilliant last night, she’s grown each week, she wants to learn and her work ethic is good. So why not keep her? Cristina takes it like a champ.

Time to watch her inspiring montage, which, hello, just says to me she should stay on the show. Oh, crap, she’s tearing up. She thanks everyone for the opportunity and says she’s not going to cry and she’ll never forget the experience. This is just a drag, honestly. I know, we’re down to the final ten, everyone’s good, but I think Cristina should have outlasted Melinda, most definitely.

I notice the other dancers aren’t crying this week, at least not like the nervous breakdowns of last week. Boy, they toughen up fast. Last week they fell apart like soggy toilet paper. But there’s a big group hug for Cristina, which suggests that everyone is probably sleep deprived and exhausted, or maybe just jealous that Cristina gets to go home and eat a sandwich and take a nap, which probably starts sounding pretty good to everyone at this point in the competition.

So, can’t say this was the conclusion I’d hoped for this week. Another girl bites the dust, and not even the weakest girl, if you ask me. Although it might be interesting to see an all-guy final five, just for the hell of it. After all, it’s Alex and Billy’s contest to lose at this point, so how the next few weeks go is almost beside the point.